Woman Walks into a Bar Read Online Free PDF Page B

I wondered if there was any reason at all. I hope that there was, because otherwise . . . otherwise it’s too painful to think about.
    So I went off sick and bunked off whenever I thought I’d get away with it.
    When the summer holidays came, I lay on the living-room floor with the curtains drawn and watched telly for six weeks. I hadn’t wanted to go back in September. I begged Mum to let me stay at home, but she wasn’t having it.
    â€œYou’re not going to let a few little girls scare you off, are you, Samantha?” she asked me firmly. “You’ve got to be strong to survive in this life, my girl. You can deal with this.”
    She meant well, I know that. And if I’d really told her how bad it was for me she would have done something to make it better. But I never told her. I never told anyone.
    I was so scared the day I went back. But on the first day of the new year nobody paid any attention to me at all because there was a new girl in class. Joy.
    Back then there weren’t that many black kids at school, not many black people in the town at all. Having a black girl start in our year was sort of an occasion. It’s different now. Beth’s mates are all different shades and none of them see the color of each other’s skin. They just see a friend.
    But when Joy started school, she was different. You might have thought it would have been Joy that the bullies would pick on, but no. Every­one wanted to hang out with Joy. She had this kind of natural confidence that made you want to look at her. And she had the whole class laughing right from the first day she started. For a week or two, while Joy was the center of attention, nobody even looked at me. I hoped that they had forgotten me completely.
    And then one day before lunch, Joy was standing by the lockers with some of the other girls, including Hannah.
    â€œHere she comes,” Hannah said. “Slapper of the year. I can smell her from here.” Everyone in the group laughed, except for Joy.
    â€œDon’t speak to her like that,” she said.
    Hannah took a step back. “We’re only having a laugh,” she said, looking at me. “She’s used to it, aren’t you, slapper?” Joy gave Hannah a little shove so that she took another step back.
    â€œI said, don’t talk to Sam like that,” Joy said. I couldn’t believe that Joy was sticking up for me. I don’t think I had heard another kid use my real name for months.
    â€œWhat’s your problem?” Hannah said, her voice a bit shaky.
    â€œYou’re my problem. I don’t like the way you’re talking to her,” Joy said. “She’s a person too, you know.” Hannah’s jaw just dropped.
    Joy turned to me and put her arm through mine. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s get away from these losers.”
    â€œYeah, well, you should just go back where you came from!” Hannah called after us.
    â€œWhat, Kensal Green?” Joy shouted over her shoulder and laughed.
    The bullying was worse after that, but some­how it didn’t matter. With Joy by my side, we stuck it out together. I still got that feeling of dread in the pit of my belly whenever I left the house every morning, but Joy would be waiting for me at the end of the path, by the gate. And even though they had even worse names for her than they did for me, she’d always laugh it off and have something much funnier and more cruel to say back.
    By the time Joy and I were fifteen, we were used to the idea that while we were at school we would always be outsiders. Never invited to the girls’ parties, never asked out by the boys. But we always said we didn’t care. We said we were just waiting until the time when we’d be free of school for good, when we would really start living our lives. Then we would show them.
    The beginning of ninth form started out OK, just because Joy was my friend. I