Wilt in Nowhere Read Online Free PDF Page A

they were well behind schedule and Eva, who had never flown in such a big plane

    before, was beginning to become genuinely alarmed. Of course she couldn’t show it in

    front of the girls who were thoroughly enjoying themselves pressing buttons so that the

    seats tilted backwards and trying on the earphones and letting down the tables from the

    seat in front and generally occupying themselves to the discomfort of other

    passengers.
    Then Penelope had insisted in a loud voice that she had to go to the loo and Eva had had

    to squeeze past the man at the end of the row to go with her. When they got back and Eva had

    squeezed back to her seat, Josephine said she had to go too. Eva took her and Emmeline and

    Samantha just to be on the safe side. By this time–and they had taken their time trying out

    various buttons and the toilet water–Eva needed to go herself and just at that moment it

    was announced that passengers had to return to their seats for take-off. Eva once more

    made the difficult passage past the man at the end of the row who said something in a

    foreign language which she didn’t understand but which she suspected wasn’t very nice.

    Then when they had reached cruising height and she could go again and in something of a

    hurry too, what he had to say didn’t require any knowledge of a foreign language to tell

    her that it wasn’t nice at all. Eva got her own back by treading on his foot when she resumed

    her seat. This time there could be no mistaking his feelings. ‘Fuck,’ he said. ‘Mind where

    you’re treading, lady. I ain’t no doormat.’
    Eva pressed the button for the stewardess and reported the matter.
    ‘This man–I won’t call him a gentleman–said…’ She paused and remembered the quads.

    ‘Well, he used a rude word.’
    ‘He said ‘Fuck’,’ Josephine explained.
    ‘He said ‘Fuck you’,’ Penelope added.
    The stewardess looked from Eva to the girls and knew it was going to be a bad trip.
    ‘Yes, well, some men do,’ she said pacifically.
    ‘No, they don’t,’ said Samantha. ‘Not impotent ones. They can’t.’
    ‘Shut your mouth,’ Eva snapped and tried to smile apologetically at the stewardess who

    wasn’t smiling at all.
    ‘It’s true,’ Emmeline joined in from across the aisle. ‘They can’t get erections.’
    ‘Emmeline, if I hear another word out of you,’ Eva bawled. ‘I’ll…’ She was getting to

    her feet when the man beside her got there first.
    ‘Listen, lady, I don’t give a goddam fuck what she said. You ain’t corn-crushing my

    feet again.’
    Eva looked triumphantly at the stewardess.
    ‘There you are, what did I tell you?’
    But the man was also appealing to the stewardess.
    ‘You got another seat? I’m not spending seven hours sitting next to this

    hippopotamus, I’m telling you I’m not.’
    It was a thoroughly unpleasant scene and when it had been cooled down and the man had

    been found another seat as far away from Eva and the quads as possible, the stewardess

    went back to the galley.
    ‘Row 31 is trouble. Keep your eyes open. Four girls and a mother who is built like a

    power lifter. Sperm bank her with Tyson and there’s no one would go a single round with the

    baby.’
    The steward looked down the rows.
    ‘Thirty-one is suspect,’ he said.
    ‘Don’t I know it.’
    But the steward was looking at the man in the window seat. So were two men in grey suits

    five seats behind him.
    That was the beginning of the flight. It didn’t get much better. Samantha spilt her

    Coke, all of it, on the trousers of the man by the window, who said, ‘Forget it, these things

    happen,’ though he didn’t say it very nicely and then went off to the toilet. On the way

    there he noticed something that caused him to spend a far longer time locked inside than was

    needed for cleaning his trousers or even relieving himself. Still in the end he came out

    looking fairly calm and went back to his seat. But before