Wilt in Nowhere

Wilt in Nowhere Read Online Free PDF

Book: Wilt in Nowhere Read Online Free PDF
Author: Tom Sharpe
Tags: Fiction:Humour
sitting down he opened the

    hand-luggage compartment above and found a book. It took him some moments to get it out

    but in the end he succeeded and to avoid having a Coca-Cola spilt on his trousers again

    he offered to sit in the aisle seat.
    ‘The little lady can have the window,’ he said with a sweet smile. ‘I got more room for

    my legs here.’
    Eva said that was real kind of him. (She was beginning to adjust her language to

    American and ‘real’ was just as good as ‘really’.) She was also beginning to

    distinguish between nice Americans who didn’t complain when one of the quads spilt things

    on them and were polite and called them little ladies, and the other sort who said ‘Fuck’

    and called her a hippopotamus just because she stepped on their toes. After that the flight

    continued pretty harmoniously. There was a movie which kept the girls interested and

    Eva concentrated on what she was going to say to Uncle Wally and Auntie Joan about how

    kind it had been of them to invite them over and pay for the tickets especially as there

    was no way she could have come; the quads’ education cost so much and clothing them etc. In

    fact she dozed for a while and it was only when the stewardesses came round with the

    trolley again and they had something more to eat that she woke up and took particular care

    to see that there was no more spilling on people’s trousers.
    In fact she got talking with the nice man in the aisle seat who asked if this was her first

    trip to the USA and where she was going, and who was real interested to learn everything

    about her and the girls and even went so far as to write their names down and said if they

    ever came down Florida way this was his address. Eva really liked him; he was so

    charming. And she told him all about how Wally Immelmann was head of Immelmann

    Enterprises in Wilma, Tennessee, and had a lakeside house up in the Smokies and how her

    Auntie Joan had married him when he was at the airbase and an Air Force pilot flying out

    of Lakenheath, and the man said he was Sol Campito and he worked with a Miami-based

    finance corporation and sure he’d heard of Immelmann Enterprises, like everyone had

    it was so important. An hour later he took another ‘hygiene break’ which was a new term

    for Eva and meant going to the toilet again. This time he didn’t take so long and when he

    came back he put his book away in the luggage compartment and said he was going to get some

    shut-eye because he had to catch the shuttle flight down to Miami and it was a long trip

    from where he’d come, like Munich, Germany, where he’d had some business. And so the flight

    wore on and nothing untoward occurred except that Penelope kept asking when they were

    going to get to Atlanta because she was bored and Sammy wouldn’t let her have the window

    seat so she could look out at the clouds. Behind them the two men in grey suits watched the

    man who had given up his window seat for Samantha. One of them took himself off to the

    toilet and was in there for five minutes. He was followed half an hour later by the second

    suit who stayed even longer. When he came back he shrugged as he sat down. Finally by the

    time Eva was getting really tired the Jumbo was slowly dropping down towards the land

    and the countryside seemed to be coming up to them and the undercarriage was locked down

    and the flaps were up and they were down with only a slight thump and lurch and into reverse

    thrust.
    ‘The land of the free,’ said the man with a smile when they were at the terminal and could

    collect their bags from the overhead lockers; he was on his feet helping to get Eva’s and

    the quads’ stuff for them. And then he very politely stood in the aisle in the way of the

    other passengers to let them file out first. In fact he let a number of other passengers

    go in front of him and only then moved himself. By the time they had collected their hold

    luggage
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