Why Me? Read Online Free PDF Page B

abuse, if you’ll pardon the pun. Sometimes when she’s shouting at me, Dominic, I find myself wanting to push her out a window, and that’s not a pun in any way.
    Anyway, one of the things Timmy’s not done is a project where he was supposed to find a penpal. I was hoping you could help me out of this pickle and pony up Jerry for the job? They could have a wee chat and that would be enough and then Timmy could print off the emails and hand them in as his project.
    I’ve promised Timmy that I’ll buy him the ball as a treat as soon as he gets this done, Dominic, so let me know ASAP for all our sakes.
    Yours in hope,
    Bob
    PS I attach a photo of the specific window that I would sometimes like to push Timmy’s mum out of.

    ----------------
    From: Dominic Jones
    To: Bob Servant
    Subject: Jerry’s Email
    Bob,
    OK this is not usual but if it is needed then my son Jerry’s email [email protected]
    Let us get this done now please. Do not worry I understand these problem with women we have them in our country also.
    Dominic Jones.
    ----------------
    From: Timmy Servant
    To: Jerry Jones
    Subject: ARE YOU MY FRIEND?
    Hello Jerry!
    My name is Timmy and you are my new friend.Can you tell me about yourself?I am nine years old and I like playing football and climbing trees. I have yellow hair and blue eyes and I live in a house with my Mum and Dad and sometimes they shout at each other and my Dad has big muscles like a horse.
    What do you look like and what do you do?
    Write back!
    Timmy
    ----------------
    From: Jerry Jones
    To: Timmy Servant
    Subject: Yes I am Your Friend
    hi,
    Am Jerry Jones and am 10 years old i have black hair, blue eyes and am living in Hong Kong with my mum and dad am i love football, basketball, people says that i looks exactly like my dad cos he always there for me,
    when i need him.
    jerry.
    ----------------
    From: Timmy Servant
    To: Jerry Jones
    Subject: You Are My Friend Forever
    Hello Jerry!
    Thank you for writing back.I love football as well I hope I will play today after school. I wish I had black hair like the other boys.I have yellow hair but I think it is stupid. Do you like Yellow Hair? What are you doing today and what is your school uniform? Would you like to see my uniform?
    Your Dad sounds like a bellend.
    Timmy
    ----------------
    From: Jerry Jones
    To: Timmy Servant
    Subject: Yes friends forever now
    hi,
    I do not know what you mean but my Dad is a good man who looks after his family in every way. Do not worry about your hair you have nice hair. My uniform is jeans and a shirt yes I would like to see your uniform.OK you can give this to your school now. Tell your dad he must buy your football now.
    jerry
    ----------------
    From: Bob Servant
    To: Dominic Jones
    Subject: A bit of an awkward one
    Dominic,
    Timmy went out with his mother earlier and I had the opportunity to check his email account. I’m afraid I have some rather awkward news. Timmy and Jerry’s relationship seems to have moved very quickly from two kids messing about to something very different. I am sorry to say that they seem to have both been overtaken by that old pal of ours: lust. Jerry seems to be obsessed by Timmy’s hair which he goes on and on about like you wouldn’t believe. He also has a ‘thing’ for Timmy’s uniform.
    Now, Dominic, I’m not against men who decide that the skirt are just not worth the hassle. I have seven Elton John records and once bought a full price ticket to see Ian McKellen star in a pantomime at the Dundee Rep Theatre. (To be fair I didn’t end up going because my dishwasher shortcircuited and flooded my kitchen but to blame my dishwasher problems on McKellen’s sexual preferences would be unfair to both McKellen and the dishwasher so let’s not go down that road.)
    My point, Dominic, is this. If, when Jerry and Timmy are a little older, they still feel the same way about each other then I think we as parents should get