Who I Became (Who I Was Book 2) Read Online Free PDF Page B

Parker go?” Her voice guts me.
    “I don’t know. Do you need something? I can help you.”
    “No.”
    She turns back over and I let her go—I don’t know how to talk to her like this.

 
    CHAPTER FIVE
     
    LILLIAN
     
    I turn away from him before I start asking questions, ones that will give me away.  I am glad I didn’t fall asleep before they started talking.  I was close but as soon as I heard them, it hurt and that woke me up—I can hear the longing in Wesson’s voice.  Then they were talking about something that I wouldn’t have been able to sleep through.  I thought we were done with protection. The thought of going back in, well continuing in, I guess we aren’t as free as I thought. Well, that thought is almost unbearable.  I also saw Parker; he is coming up with a plan.  I don’t know what it is but I need him to understand that he will not be leaving me out of it.  I know he will try to protect me; I will just have to convince him that protecting me isn’t the same as splitting us up.
    I wait and listen for him to leave.  Listening for his footsteps to head to the door, that isn’t the sound I hear.  Instead, I hear him stand up and scoot his chair over to my bedside.  He is closer; so close I can smell him.  Memories of our time together are flashing behind my eyes as I squeeze them tighter, trying to get rid of his scent that is enveloping me.  My eyes pop open as his scent was a five on the one-ten scale of pain and those memories shot my pain level to a ten.  I turn to him again to hopefully get him to leave, but when I see his face so close to mine when I turn over, I pause.  His eyes are closed and he is sleeping with his head on my pillow.  It gives me time to watch him without him knowing and I stare at him, wanting to touch him.  My idle hand was saved when Parker walked back into the room.  He looks at Wesson close to me and smiles.  He thinks I remember. I don’t. 
    “Hey Lil, how are you feeling?” He whispers, trying to keep Wesson asleep. 
    I slowly sit back further away from Wesson but still not wanting to wake him.  He has looked horrible since I woke up and I am sure it stems from him not getting any sleep over the past two weeks. I think he is finally able to relax now that I woke up but know he is still stressed since I “don’t remember him” so whatever I can do to let him rest I will do.
    “Tired, beat up, confused.” At the end of that, I glance down at Wesson for just a second but of course Park caught it.
    “He’s a good guy Lil.”
    “Okay…”
    “There is too much between you two that I won’t be able to tell you and he can’t tell you.  However, I do believe that you two were in love or are in love—unsure how that works now.  I will only tell you this—don’t push him away; you may regret it once you remember.”
    “I just don’t understand. If I loved him, why can’t I remember?” All lies. I do love him, I could never forget him.
    “Again, Lil not something I can explain, nor will I as the doctor says too much knowledge could make you more confused, causing you more damage.”
    I nod. I know this, I have been told the same. I also am glad because I don’t want to hear about the death of my child, the death of our child.  I don’t want to hear about Braxton’s death or Mia’s kidnapping. All of which are my fault.
    “Lil, we are going to have to talk soon about something.”
    “About them putting us back in protection? Park, I know what you are thinking. I may be weak in the mind but I refuse to be left. I know you and Wesson will be planning something. I demand to be included.”
    He laughs, which wakes up Wesson so I scowl at him.  He stops laughing a little bit but not for long before he starts up again.  Wesson is looking between us trying to figure out what I did to make him laugh and I give him a small smile. I can’t be too heartless with him even if I am breaking his heart.
    “Lillian Marie, do you really