Where Women are Kings Read Online Free PDF Page A

time, that she was bleeding. He had not worried at all after the first miscarriage, told her it was common, and even after the second; although he rushed her straight to hospital, he’d seemed relaxed, bought her a book about nutrition and a box of exotic fruits Nikki couldn’t even name. After the third, he’d kept her doctors appointments in his diary and found her a specialist. But after number four Obi’s expression had completely changed. He had that determined look on his face that meant he would fix things. He’d made sure that the G.P. had her referred to a team of experts, and another team of experts, and another he’d found himself. After their daughter was stillborn, he’d whispered that they would never ever go through it again. And after they eventually found what was wrong inside her – antiphospholipid syndrome, anautoimmune disease that meant her clotting was deranged – Obi took care of her. ‘I will never ever put you through that pain again,’ he whispered, and he’d thrown himself into researching adoption. ‘We will be parents,’ he’d whispered. ‘But there will be no more loss.’ And he was so certain that he made her feel certain.
    Ricardo stood in front of them for a long time. He had very soft eyes, kind and caring, and his teeth were whiter than any teeth she’d ever seen. There was a tiny hole in his left ear from a long-ago earring, and sometimes Nikki noticed him touch it. He’d been speaking to them for so many months already about their experiences, and watching them closely too. It unnerved Nikki, made her feel as if Ricardo knew everything about them, things that they weren’t aware of. Nikki prayed that Obi would look directly at him. Maybe Ricardo was checking to see how well they could give eye contact. Was it a test? He stood in front of Obi for a long time before taking the pen. He was not sure about Obi. Nikki could tell. She wanted to tell him everything she knew: about how Obi was the best of all men; how he was proud and strong and soft and how the world simply was Obi. How he would be a father that a child would look up to. A constant: unchangeable in a world that changed too quickly. How Obi would love his child. How he held her after it happened, all night, and that, every night since, he’d put his hand on top of her chest and looked at her with such sadness in his eyes.
    Her arms felt so empty. Too light.
    ‘Now,’ said Ricardo, after replacing the marker pens in a box and locking it with a tiny key. ‘I’d like you to read out the losses you’ve experienced. And after each loss, describe how it made you feel.’
    Obi shifted in his chair and crossed his long legs in front of him.
    ‘You first,’ said Ricardo, smiling and pointing directly at Obi.
    Nikki closed her eyes. There was a long silence. When Nikki opened her eyes, Ricardo was still smiling, and looking directly at Obi.
    ‘I don’t mind going first,’ said Nikki.
    Obi was breathing deeply. He hated talking about his feelings. She could tell from the way he was breathing how much he wanted to run from the room, from the whole process. It was simply too important to him. ‘We can help a child,’ he’d said over and over. ‘Really help someone.’ And Obi’s entire life had been about helping people. All his university friends had gone into private practice, and made a fortune in property or divorce law. But Obi worked for a much lower salary, often giving up time for free, as he felt so passionately about immigration, the rights of all people. She remembered when they’d first met, how different he was from anyone she’d ever known. Her previous boyfriends had not been conversationalists, or if they were they’d talked only of football, or the latest action film, but Obi had talked for hours about humanitarian issues and international affairs and opened up such a world to her. And now he would help a child in care.
They
would.
    Nikki looked around the room at the mumsy women wearing