When I Wake Up Read Online Free PDF

planning and worrying about the future. I gave myself entirely to the moment, something I rarely did because I had developed a habit of looking back, projecting forward and almost never lived the present at Roy's side.
    After the midnight supper, Nancy went to sleep and Roy and I decided to watch a romantic comedy film. While I chose it, I thought about how I would never imagine this happening in my life. Me there with Roy. How the world spun and things changed. I in my turn, would like to follow the changes, but it seemed that I did not change within myself and a vicious cycle has developed.
    The film began and our reality became the story that someone else wrote, and it was so good that it became a movie. That movie made us laugh, while others make people cry and even afraid. All this because a mere story was invented and told by a creative person, and can trigger emotions in those who are reading or watching what was once written.
    Does the world of fiction really exist or it would just be someone's mind designing something that did not exist as if it had already existed? What was life like for the author of this romantic comedy that we were watching? Was he a happy author or did he just manufacture this story to escape from his own reality? Would it be his sad story to the point of being transformed into a comedy, because sometimes life is so sad that you even want to laugh? And speaking of laughs at that time, my reality was managing to take a real smile off my face as Roy, the great love of my life, had his hands in my hair and was about to try and steal a kiss. All this because we were watching a story where two people smiled and kissed and that was so infectious that it had reached us here in the room and was creating a perfect atmosphere for the both of us.
    Before I realized it, Roy and I were kissing. No. It was not my imagination, not this time. And immigration also was not there. It was our moment and that of the comedy that inspired us. I got involved in the kiss, in Roy and my ghosts jumped inside my mind, trying to scare me, to the point of telling me that none of this was happening and I had even imagined it so much that I did not know how to separate fact from fiction. But I knew. And that moment was real. And I would not let him escape, for I had dreamed of it all my life.
    I held him in a way as if not to release him. For him, it could have been just a kiss, but for me, it was the beginning of a planned conquest in my mind. I was holding on, because I was afraid of losing him, but he made me an invitation, playfully:
    “Sophia, I think we have to consummate the marriage.”
    I replied, “Sure, Roy, it is all I want.” And it was only fair that two persons of legal age married, of course they should consummate the marriage. It was for that reason alone that I accepted.
    I spent the night there with Roy and I woke up embracing him, on Christmas Day. Nancy certainly should have known I was there. Roy was still asleep. The night had been consummated and I found myself there in his bed, afraid of being rejected. And that emptiness I felt inside me seemed to have increased. It was terrified, I had wished so much for that moment, but he had not changed my life. Not that I was sorry to have spent the night with him, but simply because the rejected girl who lived inside me, had woken up and told me that from now on, Roy would not want me.
    I did not know what to do. If I should remain there or leave his room because sooner or later I would have to face him, so I decided to stay there and let him wake up first. Roy woke up, hugged and kissed me, and I thought, yes, I have chance with him, but I knew that my return ticket to New York had been purchased and that this novel with him, this consummated marriage, had a time and date to end.
    These thoughts filled me with sadness and would not let me enjoy the moment. I was taken by the fear of losing someone who deep down, I never had but always wanted. I was there in