When Dreams are Calling Read Online Free PDF

should ever
doubt that
they are needed somewhere and worth loving by someone.
    There is no other place like home, where we
feel more the need of
being accepted for what we are. All our life, we flourish on our
family’s
support and approval and we wilt on its disdain and criticism.
    At home, we should be loved the way we are. Our
family should be our
refuge, our place to rest, to gather strength and courage, to feel joy
and
confidence, our sanctuary. In a family, it should never matter how
different we
are from each other. Family should be about unity, not individuality,
about
tolerance, not compatibility.
    I was an explorer, of people, of places and of
myself. I was
allergic to any limitations on my freedom, fond of everything that was
new or
just a bit different, willing to take risks, unpredictable, oblivious
to the society’s
whims of fashion, and always ready to look on the bright side of
things.
Monotony tired me, adventure excited me and following others crippled
me. My
only constant was change.
    My parents loved rules, making plans and
sticking to them. They were
prone to predict the worst, strived on routine and security, and had
fixed
ideas about what makes one smart, successful, and happy.
    Despite loving me to bits, they could never
accept me the way I was
and triedto mould me into someone else. Their
support was dependent on
their consent and their warmth and kindness were present as long as
obediently,
I was playing the role that was given to me. My decisions were never
respected,
but argued; my wishes were never accepted, but questioned.
    Over the years, I felt trapped between my
desire to please them and the
need of being myself. I wanted to be free to choose my own way of life
without
being afraid of upsetting them. I knew one day I would break free. I
just never
knew when or how.
    Now, that it was finally happening, I felt
relieved, like a huge
burden was about to be taken off my shoulders. And if leaving behind my
country
and my dear ones was the price I had to pay for it, then so be it.
Freedom
was all
I wanted and I was not willing to haggle for it.
    However, for them, my departure was a shock. It
came all of a
sudden, gave them no warning and no chance to prepare. They were
confused and
hurt, betrayed and disappointed. In their eyes, my life was perfect.
After all,
I was surrounded with love. What more could I have wanted? What more
was it out
there that they could not provide me with? So, being a spoiled brat,
was their
only explanation for my depression and for my radical departure.
    Maybe they were right, maybe I was a spoiled
brat, who had it all,
and as a change, wanted to see how it is to have nothing. Maybe, taking
off all
alone in the big world out there was a crazy idea. Maybe, I should have
taken a
good look around at what I had before jumping on a new adventure and
hurting
everyone who was dear to me.
    Or maybe not. Maybe their pain was
self-inflicting pain. A temporary
burst vanishing away as soon as they would realize that what could be
interpreted as a crazy act of disobedience was in fact an act of
courage and
faith, an act of love, the ultimate love, the love for freedom.
Something I had
to do if I wanted to find happiness. It was not their fault, same as it
wasn’t
mine. It was no one’s fault. They had their own identity. I still had
to find
mine. Same as there’s so much a young tree can grow in the shadow of
the old
one, there is so much a youngster can learn and experience living in
the shadow
of his parents.
    The truth is that no one could know for sure
what was better for me.
And maybe, just maybe, they should’ve left it at that. And above
everything
else, just love me.
----
    Dora’s
Journal Notes
In life, no matter
what we are doing,
there will always be people who like us and others who don’t. Be
yourself and
choose to be liked by the ones alike.
When you stop
working so hard to fulfill
others’ dreams, you will have the energy to search for your own.
Being a nobody