said, reassuringly. “She got real crazy and free and ran outside naked. My poor wife chased her down the block.”
Sasha looked at me as if to say, ‘Are you kidding me?’
“Why the hell would you allow yourself to get that drunk?” Now her boyfriend was irate.
“Yeah, she gave those junior high boys an eye full.” I said, piling on.
“Junior high boys?” Now, he was about to explode.
“Yeah, they were more like our local street gang,” I said, pressing the point.
“Where the hell do you live?” Meathead apparently didn’t like my pretend address.
And like I said, I went all in. “Unfortunately, I live in a not so safe neighborhood in Anaheim, but we only had one drive-by shooting last week, so it’s improving.”
“Let me get this straight, Sasha. You got so drunk that some jerk tried to take you home forcefully. And then this poor guy helps you out and lets you sleep it off at his house… in what appears to be downtown Compton. If that wasn't bad enough, you stripped naked and ran down the street and this guy’s poor wife had to run you down at four in the morning. Are you serious?”
Sasha looked stunned and just had to nod. She was in no position to dispute anything so I couldn’t resist, “Don't forget she peed our guest bed, and maybe even pooped in it a tad bit.”
That was it! Gary was done! “New rule, you are to never go out anywhere again unless I'm with you.” Gary then turned to me. “Thanks, bro. You are good man. Please apologize to your wife for me.”
“Oh, I will. She’s at the Laundromat washing the sheets.”
Then Gary reached into his wallet and pulled out forty bucks and handed it to me. “I hope this covers it.”
It didn’t exactly. All the drinks and food she ate last night came closer to about sixty, but it was a good gesture even though he thought it was for the sheets.
“Let's get the hell out of here Sasha. I’ll deal with you when we get home. Then Meathead walked past me and jumped into his giant truck and slammed the door.
“Thanks,” Sasha said to me.
“No problem!” I said, stoically, then turned around and walked back to my car. Now, that's the story of my life—bad decision after bad decision. I meet someone great, and she turns out to be a cheater, a liar, and most importantly a bed wetter.
Chapter Five
For the next three weeks I trained my butt off and lost the weight I needed to by eating a 1400 calorie diet and kicking my ass in the gym. My opponent was a fighter named Jorge Vasquez; he was an established pro and had a 16-6 record with twelve knockouts. He was the opposite kind of fighter as me, he was a striker and I loved the ground game. I worked on some standing techniques with my trainer, Mo. For the most part, my job was to take him down and pile on the elbows and maneuver him in a way to do one of my infamous submission moves.
I had a light workout the night before my fight. I was going to be on the under card at the Staple Center and was the first fight out of the gate. I knew I needed to get some rest, so I got home and went to straight to bed. I wanted eight solid hours, no more no less. I quickly fell asleep, as I usually did after taking a Benadryl with a warm glass of milk.
I had started out in a very deep sleep and then I began to hear a constant beeping in my dreams. It didn't matter what I was dreaming, from unicorns to bikini babes there was this damn beeping sound in the distance.
Finally, I woke up and right beside my hand was my cell phone. I stared at my cell phone screen—23 missed calls. Are you kidding me? They were all from a (714) number I didn't even recognize.
I got up and went to my bathroom to wash my face. I was apprehensive about calling the number back. Whoever it was didn't mind blowing up my phone in the middle of the night before my big fight. Maybe it had something to do with my grandma. I knew I needed to call the number back, but I was groggy and tired and needed at least
Robert & Lustbader Ludlum