fuckers?”
“Oh she knows us. We heard from a little bird that she was stranded out here. But it looks like she got herself a cub scout to come help her.”
“Did you call these guys to come pick you up?” I yelled to Sasha who was still sitting in my car.
“No, I called Gina and she must have told them!” Sasha yelled back.
I could give a rat’s ass about who Gina was. This piece of shit just busted my windshield, not mention put a big dent on my hood. This guy wasn't that big and I definitely could take him in my sleep. His two friends weren't much bigger. They were all in their mid twenties, and all of them could use a shave and a shower.
The guy who slammed my window was to the right of me and the other two were on the left.
“Look, dick,” I said. “You're going to pay for my window.”
“What are you? A lawyer?”
“No, I’m a guy who is about to kick your teeth in for fucking up his Mustang.”
The long hair guy looked at Sasha and said, “I guess a guy who runs a surf shop wasn't good enough for you.” Great, this douche bag was a scorned lover.
“Eddie, we dated over a year ago. Get over it,” Sasha yelled, from inside my vehicle.
She was still sitting in the passenger seat expecting me to just get in and drive off. That isn't how I handle my business. No one screws with me, and especially no one touches my Mustang.
“OK, Eddie. You're going to find out real quick I'm not a lawyer and you just made the worst choice in judgment anyone ever has by thinking you can smash my car.”
I was a professional fighter and I needed to be discreet about that specific detail cause this guy could sue me once he realized he just got floored by a professional. But I didn’t care; this guy was going to pay for his discretion. I charged to my left and grabbed Eddie and threw him on the trunk of my car. He was a lot stronger than I expected. He was like a little ball of iron.
He bounced off my hood and then did a back flip in the middle of the street. Cool, I thought . I got an athlete on my hands . This will be fun kicking his ass. Luckily, there was no traffic at 3 o'clock in the morning.
Eddie made a hand motion to his friend, basically telling them to back off and that he would take care of me. How little did he know what a bad-ass he’d just run into. Eddie charged me, and tried to kick me in the nuts. It's the most predictable technique move in the street-fighting handbook. It’s a bitch move—you kick your opponent as hard as you can in his package, and just unload on him. But I was far too savvy to let a twerp like this get over on me. I easily blocked his kick, using the karate kid wax-off technique . It actually really does work. I smacked his leg down and that relentless little turd tried to kick me again. I caught his leg and lifted it straight up forcing him to fall on the ground. I knew grappling and wrestling this guy was a risky move because his friends could jump on me in seconds. I figure I would choke him out fast until he saw stars.
On his back, Eddie came up at me. I took my left arm and wrapped around his head in a reverse head lock. I just cranked that baby down and it was lights out for Eddie.
Suddenly I felt an elbow crack into the back of my head. It was one of Eddie's friends. Then I felt a sensation I had never felt in my life. The motherfucker bit my right shoulder and not a minor bite; he bit it like he was biting into a rack of lamb. I never felt that sensation before. What the hell just happened? This crazy asshole just bit a giant gash in my shoulder. I literally heard him spit out my flesh.
Motherfucker! That fucking hurt! I did the only thing I could; I threw my head back so hard that the back of my skull cracked the guy’s nose. I heard his nose break as I connected with it like a bowling ball hitting a walnut.
I turned around and the guy who bit me fell straight back onto the asphalt. The third guy came at me and I grabbed his head and