We're Flying Read Online Free PDF

Christoph looked at her arms, which were anorexically thin, and coveredwith little black hairs. She gave off a smell—it took him a while to trace it—of camphor. It wasn’t till she pointed out something in one of the pictures that he noticed her knotty hands. Sabine must be much older than he first thought, perhaps older than himself.
    She laughed softly. He’s crazy, she said, but I’m crazy too. And you must be as well? We’re all crazy. Why do you think we want to go in that cave? Why do you want to go there? Nirvana. Because no one else has been there?
    Christoph shrugged his shoulders and shut the album.
    We want to fuck the planet, said Sabine. She stood up and held out her hand. We’re going to fuck the planet.
    SHE DIDN’T STOP WHISPERING . Never mind, she said. Her mouth was right up against Christoph’s ear, he could feel her lips brushing against it. They had tried hard, but that hadn’t helped. Christoph hadn’t been able to shake from his mind the caves she’d listed in the bar, and he’d thought she was just out for one more conquest, another name on another list.
    Never mind, Sabine said again, as if she wasn’t quite convinced the first time. Her breath was coming and going in pants. Then she started fiddling with him again, with a silly giggle that got worse the longerit went on. Stop that, he finally said. I don’t feel like it. Right away she stopped, and was quiet. He moved away from her a little, he couldn’t stand her nearness. But she came after him, pressed herself against him. In the end, he sat up on the side of the bed. It was dark in the room, and he sat there and stared into the dark. What’s the matter? Sabine asked. Christoph still didn’t speak. Endure the dark, he thought, tolerate the silence. He heard the rustle of the sheets. Sabine must have sat up as well. She didn’t touch him, but he could sense that she was right behind him. It was completely dark. He heard her voice coming out of the void, sounding very calm and objective. You’re not going to take us with you, are you? You won’t dream of it. The thought seemed to amuse her, and she started her giggling again. Christoph turned his head half toward her, and said he didn’t think he would ever set foot in a cave again. Sabine laid her hand on his bare back, as if to push him away. I can’t do it anymore, he said. And then, slowly and haltingly, on the way down to Nirvana he had been more afraid than he had ever been in his life. Previously, fear had lent him wings, it was a source of tension that helped him to concentrate. But there in that narrow crevasse, he had felt lamed. It was as though all his strength had deserted him. He had felt utterly helpless, his thoughtsspinning in his head. I don’t remember how I got out. I can’t remember the way back.
    Sabine took her hand off his back and got up. He heard steps, a dull thump, and a stifled curse. Then the overhead light came on.
    I’ve never been inside a cave since, he said and pulled himself upright. Christ, I don’t even ride in elevators anymore. He laughed hoarsely. Sabine said she was going to bed. Her voice sounded dismissive. He said he would drive home, he felt perfectly sober. Sabine didn’t reply. She watched him dress and followed him to the door. She held up her face to him, and he kissed her quickly on the mouth. She seemed offended. Clemens will be disappointed, she said. What about? Christoph asked. She looked at him with an absurdly serious, censorious expression.
    The sky was clear, and the stars seemed to be burning in the cold air. Christoph felt the gratitude he felt after every expedition under the surface, the joy of having got back in one piece, and being able to breathe freely after days of being shut in. He walked through the silent village, got lost, and finally found himself in front of the village hall. He felt relieved, even strangely cheerful. Whatever sort of game it was, he had the feeling he’d won.

Three Sisters
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