Watercolour Smile Read Online Free PDF Page A

easel and taking in the painting.
    He reached out, his fingers hovered, and he seemed to realise that there was something off about the image. The skin tone was greyish in some areas, and the left eye was puffy, the lips swollen. For a moment, Quillan seemed frozen in his uncertainty, fingers reaching for the painting, and then he pulled back and both of his hands landed on my shoulders.
    “Come back after school. You need to finish this painting.”
    I wavered, finding comfort in the warmth of his hands. It was different to the way he had touched me before—this was more us . More normal. He had only kissed me once—as had Silas—to complete the bond. They did it because I was starting to implode, mentally… physically… I didn’t know. I had managed to convince myself that they were trying to wait out the bond, which would eventually cause me more pain than good. It made me realise how much we needed each other; we might have been five separate people, but we existed too closely together, like dominos. If one of us tumbled, the rest would fall too.
    “I will.” I forced my voice to sound neutral as I fought back the burn of tears.
    His chin brushed the top of my head and I closed my eyes, standing with him for as long as I dared without allowing the moment to become awkward, and then I pulled away before he could apologise for the earlier encounter. There was only so much I could take, and he always felt my spikes of emotion—fear, anxiety, anything but what I should have been feeling. Him and Silas both felt it now. I had learned to pull away from Quillan before the emotion leaked into him, because the pain in his expression doubled with each heavy draw on my heart.
    I forced another smile and moved to the door, but he caught me, touching just below my elbow. The pressure of his fingers was so light, so brief… I halted instantly.
    “What did you mean when you said you had to go on a date?” he asked.
    I continued staring at the door. “Poison wants me to go on a double-date. She thinks that people are getting too suspicious of Cabe and Noah, and that they need to start showing interest in girls again before the rumours get back to Weston. You and Silas too.”
    “She’s probably right, but what does that have to do with you dating?”
    “I’m fairly sure that she’s hoping it’ll make it easier on them. Maybe it’ll make it easier on me, too. I won’t feel so…” I shook my head, unable to come up with a word. Guilty ? Confused ? Jealous ? Relieved ? “If we all do it; it won’t seem so bad.”
    He was quiet, and finally, I turned. His eyes were darkly perturbed, and maybe even angry.
    “They had plenty of relationships even after they found out about me,” I said gently. “I know it’s possible.”
    “It’s not.” He shook his head. “Not once we touched you.”
    I blinked, something niggling in some corner of my mind. “You tried?”
    Pain flickered over his face.
    “Oh.” I wanted to ask when, and why, and with whom, but the words didn’t rise. He looked too tortured, and I could feel the reaction that thrummed away in his chest, like a vicious bird trying to claw its way from the inside out. I didn’t know exactly what it meant, but I felt it, and it hurt. I remembered that it had taken Quillan the longest of all of them to accept that I was his Atmá. Silas still doesn’t accept it , some part of my brain tried to reason with me, but I pushed it away. I understood how hard it was for Quillan because I saw the torture etched into his expression every day. “It’s okay,” I eventually assured him. “We’ll be fine.” It was a lame offering, but it was the best I could give.
    “It would be better if you didn’t go.”
    “I have to.” I sighed, facing the truth of it. “One of us has to make the first move, and it will never be them. I’ll go, make conversation, eat some food and come home. Nothing has to happen, and it’ll encourage the boys to do the same thing. If I