Water Born Read Online Free PDF Page A

away from everyone and spit into the water.
    â€˜What happened?’
    I spin round. Clive is crouching down at the side of the pool, clutching his stopwatch and clipboard. I was in such a state at the end, I didn’t even look at my time.
    I prop my goggles up on the top of my head. ‘I don’t know. I was trying to talk to myself and it just made everything worse. I got frustrated that Christie was ahead, got angry. Everything went wrong. My stroke, my breathing. I dunno. I was just rubbish. I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t do it.’
    I smack the water with the flat of my hand, splashing Clive, making him jump back from the side.
    â€˜Hey!’ he shouts, and I know I’m in trouble.
    I can’t deal with it. Nothing he can say is going to be harder on me than what I’m already thinking. I duck under the surface, wishing I was at the deep end so I could sink down to the bottom, stand there with a metre of water closing over my head. Instead I fold my legs in front of me and drift down so I’m sitting on the tiles. My anger is turning to self-pity now. Without my goggles, the chlorinated water stings my eyes, but at least it washes away the tears that are starting to come.
    I hold my breath and look around me, up and down the line of bodies huddling by the end of the pool. Blackswimsuits and pale limbs. Skin scraped clear of hair. My thighs are lean, the muscles of my calves swelling gently outwards. I used to be really skinny and I’m still slim, but I’m stronger now. I like myself better this way.
    I grab hold of my goggles and swimming hat and wrench them off my head. I was so bad today. So bad. I’m a swimmer now, that’s who I am. If I don’t have this, if I can’t do it any more, what have I got? What’s left?
    My hair’s tied up in a plait. I tug at the elastic holding it all together and run my fingers through, unravelling, freeing it, until it floats around me like a mermaid’s. I move my head one way and then the other, and my hair swirls around me. And everything starts to feel right again.
    This is where I belong. Today sucked, but it was just one race. It was just training. It’s not spoilt for ever. I just need to do better next time.
    I push against the floor and come up to the surface.
    Clive is there, waiting, furious.
    â€˜You’re lucky it’s the end of the session, or you’d be on a timeout right now.’
    â€˜I’m sorry. I just want to win.’
    His face softens.
    â€˜It’s okay. I know. And you will. Trust me, you will win, Nicola, but not like that.’
    Up in the gallery Dad is gathering up his things. Even from this distance I can see the black storm clouds hanging over his head. It’s going to be an uncomfortable ride home in the car.
    I haul myself out of the water and start trailing towardsthe changing room behind the other girls. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Harry climbing down from his perch. I don’t turn to look at him, but I walk a little slower, all my attention on him as he walks along the side of the pool towards me. We meet at the corner.
    â€˜Hey,’ he says.
    I look up, pretending that I hadn’t noticed him.
    â€˜Oh, hi.’
    â€˜Bit of a temper tantrum you had going on there.’
    I pull a face, feel myself blushing.
    â€˜No,’ he says, ‘I like it. I like a bit of . . . passion.’
    The way he says it, it sounds like the dirtiest word in the English language. I’m sure my face is scarlet now.
    I don’t know what to say.
    â€˜Okay. I’ve . . . um . . . got to go now.’
    He laughs and pretends to block my way, then stands aside. I walk past him, cursing my gaucheness. Why didn’t I say something smart back? I could’ve just said, ‘I bet you do,’ and he would’ve thought I was sexy, sassy, instead of a bumbling, stupid kid. God.
    My costume is hitched up round my bum. Do I