Wanderlust Read Online Free PDF Page B

him."
    With a flick of his fingers, the towel
slipped off my nipples, gaping open around my waist. I sucked in a
breath and shut my eyes.
    "Just let it happen," he murmured. "I
want to do this. You let that little kid paw at you, so why not
me?"
    His warm hand closed around one
breast. It was lifted, hefted into his palm before he rolled the
nipple between callused fingers. It didn't hurt anymore. He was
right about that. It felt good, the slight abrasiveness, the
pressure.
    Sparks set off low in my belly. He
played with my breasts with a proficiency that made my breath
catch. Clearly he was experienced. He knew just where to touch me
and how to do it. But he seemed to be learning me as well,
exploring every dip, every milky expanse of skin and the pink tips
that pebbled under his manipulation. My hands were tense by my
sides, my eyes shut tightly until he pinched my nipple. I
gasped.
    "Did he do that?"
    "No, I—"
    "What else did you let him do? Where
else did you let him put his skinny little fingers?"
    He made it sound so dirty,
when it had just been innocent exploration between two teenage
kids, hadn't it? That was normal. This was the fucked-up
thing.
    He twisted my nipple when I didn't
answer.
    I sucked in a breath at
the pain. "I don't know— oh
God ."
    "Your cunt? Did he touch you
there?"
    His coarse words made my face heat. I
couldn’t remember ever hearing that word aloud but I knew what it
meant. Maybe it was just a universal sound or the tone he used,
derisive and eager in one note.
    "No,” I said. “Sometimes his hands
would slip under my jeans, but only in the back."
    "He touched your ass. That's it?
That's all he got to do to you?"
    Cheeks burning, I nodded.
    "No wonder that didn't last. What
about the next boyfriend? Did you put out for him?"
    My voice fell to a whisper. “There
wasn’t…He wasn’t…”
    "Tell me about the big day. Were there
rose petals and candles?"
    The pain washed over me afresh.
Romance? Not likely. I cursed my mother all over again for not
seeing through him, for not seeing how much I was hurting in those
weeks before she discovered us.
    “ He wasn’t my
boyfriend.”
    "Ah, now that is interesting. Where
were you the first time, in his car?"
    "In my room.”
    “ What did he have you
do?”
    “ He said to... I was on my
hands and knees."
    He whistled. "He came at you from
behind for your first time. That's harsh. I don't think I would've
even done it that way. Did you come like that, with your face
hugging the sheets?"
    I shook my head quickly.
    It had hurt so bad. He'd stabbed deep
inside, and I hadn't known how to control the depth at all, had
been too afraid and cowed to fight back. I hadn't been able to,
with his hands on my hips, holding me steady for his thrusts. The
floral fabric of the comforter turned damp beneath my cheeks as I
cried in pain, but he told me to quiet down.
    The first always
hurts, he’d whispered.
    That was in the past. The horrible
memory wasn't relevant to me anymore. Except this man pulled me
down to the fraying floral bedspread. The towel remained in a limp
heap where I had sat, leaving my body completely exposed. I shut my
eyes tightly, but I could see the scene as clearly as if we were in
broad daylight. My body awkwardly splayed across the bed, tense and
vulnerable. He still fully clothed, wearing jeans and a blue
button-down.
    I felt my hands pulled above my
head.
    "I wouldn't treat you that way," he
said. "The first time is something special."
    The sleek sound of leather whipped
through the air. I cringed, anticipating the blow.
    He soothed me with a stroke of my
thigh, as if I were an animal. Gentle hands wrapped the smooth
leather around my wrists and secured them to the headboard with an
ease that scared me.
    "You can get out of that," he said,
nodding toward my tethered hands. "If something were to happen, you
could wriggle and yank them out. It's safe."
    Safe? Was that really a consideration
here? This whole thing was unsafe. That was