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the right time, but make sure your heart is right’. My heart is right….unmistakably right. It’s her heart I want to heal…her heart I completely need to own.
    We, finally, get to Gunny’s house, and I’m already dreading the stressful art of planning how to keep everyone secure. It’s times like these I wish life weren’t complicated. I hate complicated . I need to be in control at all times. When I’m assigned a subject, he or she listens to everything I say. The problem here, is Roxy fights me on everything. Gunny gets down to business as soon as we’re all seated.
    “So, we move to plan B, boys…” Gunny says, while our eyes are set on him.
    We’re in the den mapping out our next move. As the girls come in with drinks, Roxy fires out the first question of this match.
    “What do you mean ‘plan B’? What exactly is this plan, Uncle Jack?” Roxy’s steady tone makes me sigh in relief, knowing she’s not frustrated, yet.
    Just as Gunny is about to answer, we lose power. Fuck!
    Our training kicks in mixing with the adrenaline coursing through our veins, and in five seconds flat, we’re positioned with our guns drawn, earpieces in place. I feel her hands clamped on my waist, her breathing uneven against the nape of my neck. If she doesn’t bust out quietly singing in the next five seconds, I’d be surprised.
    Gunny whispers instruction low but solid, “I’ll call it in. LT, stay with my wife. Hang tight, girls.”
    I back Roxy against the wall that separates the den and dining room. I squint my eyes and see Brian has Tami in the same hold on the opposite side of the room, next to LT and Patti. I want to turn around and wrap her in my arms, but I don’t think I can just now, not until I’m able to center myself. Never ending fear has my body trapped since this whole thing began. Not too long ago, I was in this state. It’s a silent torture that troubles me, and it will continue to suffocate me until this nightmare ends.
    I’m trained to detach and compartmentalize my feeling. I stay focused on the objective, which wasn’t hard for me to do before, but now…now that I found my love, it’s hard to separate my feelings. The face that erases my fears is the very face that causes me to experience the same fears.
    I know, I need to stay focused, but I need her more…my heart demands what my brain tries its hardest to deny. Who wins? The heart always…always wins. So, I turn and look at her…I look at my love.
    My eyes roam her pretty face, checking for any sign of panic. “You okay?” I hope she sees the love shining through my eyes, because I need her to know…I need her to feel it. I want her to own it.
    Like a trooper, she gives me a small smile and says, “You’re in front of me, ready to defend me; so, I’m more than good.” She licks her lips, and the words that leave her mouth are a lifeline to my worried soul, “I love you. I say it because I might not have another chance since Yo quiero Taco Bell seems determined to kill me.” The corner of her lips pulls down a bit.
    How can a couple of words bring me to a euphoric high and slam me down so hard I need to brace myself at the same time? Her words boom and fucking detonate in my heart like a grenade, destroying everything on impact. Fear and guilt swirl in her eyes, and knowing she feels that way, pulls me further down in that abyss where nothing but anger resides.
    I grip her chin. “I.love.you.too. No one will touch a strand of hair on that pretty head of yours, not on my watch. My life for yours, got that?”
    She shakes her head defiantly. “I.am.not.losing.you. Got that?”
    Something happens to me every time she tells me she loves me, and every time she matches my determination with her own. It makes me forget the promise of keeping the secret we’re shielding from her that I made to LT. I want to kiss her and love on her, but I’m afraid my mouth will betray me. She’s not ready…prepare her…pave the way…ease the