from behind.
But more than that… I want to know her, what makes her tick.
She’s like me and she doesn’t even know it.
Driven, determined, competitive. She’s all fire, all motor. Like me. Be it wrestling, or cage fighting, or even boxing, I give it my all, go right to the end.
I never half-ass it.
And neither does she.
But all year Cassie barely even looked at me. I can remember it to this day. All the other girls in the classroom did, of course. But those girls weren’t my type.
Truth be told, once I met Cassie, nobody was my type anymore.
And that, there, is something that scares me. It’s a little secret I have, but you’d never fucking know it by looking at me.
I’ve not been with a girl since I saw Cassie that very first day of term.
Before that, sure, it was four new girls a week, never the same one twice. Well, maybe once or twice if she was real good.
But once I met Cassie… it was like all of that interest just drained out of me. I only wanted her.
Her eyes had wiped over me like I wasn’t even something to be acknowledged, and then they had gone right back to her textbook. There might have been a mild look of disgust on her face, like she’d just tasted something foul.
It was perfect. A girl seemingly immune to me. It wasn’t born out of insecurity, but out of contempt! God, that’s sexy.
I read the page header of her textbook as I walked to my customary seat at the back of the class: A Brief History of Political Science.
I didn’t even fucking know that our school had political science electives.
And now I’m walking with her along Sunset Way, and the sound of the surf is in my ears, and the smell of salt is on the air, and I’m waiting for her to tell me to go, because I will if she does.
I don’t know why, exactly, but I will.
But she doesn’t say it. And we just keep walking. She veers onto the beach, and I walk there with her, feeling the soft sand beneath my shoes.
I feel it inside me, as I pull another drag from my cigarette, this growing ball of energy. I feel like I’ve got a fireball inside my gut, and it’s going to burst me at the seams.
She does things to me. Fuck, she really does.
And… and I like it. I like it and I hate it. If this was any other chick I just wouldn’t fucking care. But look at me, walking on the fucking beach in the late afternoon with her.
I never thought I’d be a cliché.
Jesus, if we were holding hands you could put us on a fucking advertisement!
“My father is a prick,” she says after a moment.
“Hey, it’s like a checklist,” I say. “Box one, daddy issues. Check. ” I tick it off with my finger.
She scowls at me.
I don’t even know why I said it. It just came out of my mouth. I shrug. That’s who I am, why the fuck should I apologize for it?
“If you think I’ve got daddy issues, then you’ve got oedipal issues.” She flashes her eyes at me, challenging me. She thinks I don’t know what she’s talking about. It’s cute.
“No I don’t,” I say. “And that shit’s pretty much been debunked.”
“You know, for a dumbass jock, you have a surprising vocabulary.”
“I’m not a jock,” I say. “I don’t give a fuck about all that.”
“Right,” she says, rolling her eyes. I just grin at her again. “You don’t give a fuck. Tell me something new. But you were a school athlete. Wrestling champion, and you were quarterback of the football team? Seems pretty jockish to me.”
“Hey, I take care of my body. I’m better than everyone else at every sport. It was easy credits. I had half the school watching me at practice .”
“You’re so full of yourself.”
“So are you, just in a different way.”
“I am not full of myself!” she shouts.
That got a rise out of her…
“Really?” I challenge, walking in front of her and turning around. I’m walking backwards now, and I see her eyes roam up and down my body. I can see she’s trying not to meet my eyes. It’s… it’s hot. She’s