Uncovering You 5: Confessions Read Online Free PDF

developing between us. It was what I hoped for.”
    I stare at him struck dumb. He hoped for trust ? He wanted trust , when, no matter what happened, my whole life was under his control?
    How much more “trust” does the man need?
    “Much more,” Stonehart says. My hands fly over my mouth when I realize that I had actually spoken that last thought out loud.
    “I wanted the trust that a young woman gives to the love of her life. The trust that husband and wife share after fifty years together. The trust that comforts you and keeps you safe, even when you are in the darkest places of this world.”
    I don’t need to do anything to express my immense disbelief. Stonehart tells me exactly what he thinks with a loud scoff.
    “Of course, I knew that we were not there. I knew that we might never get there. But that did not stop me from holding out hope , Lilly, that one day, we might. I saw that things were changing.
    “And then, a few nights later, you caught me with… Angelica .” He whispers her name. “I became furious. Not at you—at myself. I was livid for being so careless, for being so tactless, for being so fucking weak. I did not need her when I had you.”
    He chuckles again, though this time it sounds forced. “But old habits die hard, I guess. What’s that saying about an old dog? No new tricks? And I’m no stranger to the passage of time.
    “I knew it was you as soon as I heard the noise outside the window. Who else could it be? And when I came to your room and found you tucked in your bed, I knew that you were trying to deceive me. Trying to trick me.”
    A growl comes from his throat. I shift uncomfortably under his suddenly-hard stare. “That did not make me happy. I tried to contain my rage, but I knew that if I pretended not to know what you did, it would make both of us look like fools. Still—still!—I almost walked away. I was halfway out of the room when I noticed your footprints on the floor. At that point, I had no choice but to punish you. I could not ignore them.
    “But you remember what I said next, don’t you? That, from that moment on, every time I see you, I wanted you on your hands and knees? I regretted those words. The next morning, when I left, I spent the whole day wishing I could take them back. That’s why, when I returned, I did not raise qualms about your non-compliance.”
    “You ignored me,” I say.
    “I was trying to save face,” he sighs. “I could not have you see me waver in my demands. That would make me seem weak. And I hate weakness above all.”
    “It would make you seem human ,” I whisper.
    He grunts. “Perhaps. But I was not ready to show you that side of me then.” He turns, faces me, and walks straight forward. His eyes bore into me as he advances. I don’t shy away, no matter how much I want to.
    What he does next takes me completely by surprise. He drops to his knees , and picks up my hand. “But I am now,” he whispers.
    I blink through suddenly-moist eyes. Am I crying? Why? I’ve never been overly weepy before…
    But listening to Stonehart speak has all sorts of strange emotions bubbling up inside of me. Seeing him on his knees like that has me absolutely awe-struck.
    “You can ask me anything you want,” he says into my hand. “Just let me finish my story first.”
    I nod dumbly, hardly able to reconcile what is happening with the Stonehart I know.
    He gets back up and starts to pace the room again. “The two weeks away felt like the longest of my life. The goddamned trip had to happen at the moment we were making the most progress. I worried the entire time that when I returned, we would have regressed.
    “But that was not the only thing troubling me. It took me less than a day to begin missing you. Somehow, at one point or another, you became my drug. I became addicted to you, Lilly. I needed my fix.
    “I was not myself the entire trip. I made poor decisions. Bad judgments. Even my colleagues commented on it. All because I could