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intoxicated—not big news—and so were his pals. And so when they reached the statue, they thought it might be a lark if Clive took off his clothes and posed under the statue, holding his outstretched arms in an imitation of the statue itself. Clive, apparently an exhibitionist sort, didn’t need much encouragement; he was out of his trousers in fairly quick order.
    It was all good fun until an incensed Brazilian prosecutor, who just happened to be contemplating the statue at the same time, ordered the drunken lot of them arrested on the charge of committing an obscene act. The group was hustled off to a nearly police station, where they were held until they signed affidavits swearing that they would appear in court for their alleged crimes or they would never be allowed on Brazilian soil again.
    Remember, if you act like a jerk, Jesus may forgive you, but the Brazilians may not.
    Source: Reuters

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Fence Frustrates Sloshed Swede
    S ven’s” first mistake was visiting the young woman —or, should we say, attempting to visit the young woman. Sven, a Swede who lived in Oslo, Norway, had a thing for a Norwegian girl, and so he decided to make a social call on her. Unfortunately for Sven, he was drunk and it was late at night. The woman, not enthused about the appearance of an intoxicated Swede in her doorway, refused Sven entry. Well, Sven might have been besotted in more ways than one, but he wasn’t a complete jerk. Rebuffed, he turned to go.
    And was immediately beset by issues. The gate to the young woman’s apartment building had closed and locked, and now he couldn’t get back out to the street. This is the point where a sober man might have sheepishly gone back and asked the woman to buzz open the gate; but remember, Sven wasn’t sober. Having been tossed aside once that evening, he was perhaps not looking for it to happen a second time. So he attempted to slip under the gate. No dice.
    Now did he go back and ask to be let out? Of course not. Instead, he reasoned that his bulky clothes kept him from sliding under the gate. And so, off came the clothes, and back under the gate Sven went, only to get stuck. So now, we have a rejected drunk, naked Swede pinned under a gate. And there he stayed for several hours in the cold Norwegian night, contemplating love, the universe, and the night breezes on his naked skin.
    Eventually, passersby discovered Sven and called the police to extricate him. In the meantime, a team of ace reporters had gathered at the scene to document the event as it unfolded; Sven, crafty as he was, begged the gathered newsmen to say that he had gotten trapped while trying to save a kitten, a story that would have been compromised—nay, deeply perverted —by his undressed state. Sven later asked the reporters to note that the woman he’d come to visit was “a real stunner.” It was indeed duly noted.
    If this had happened in the United States, Sven probably would have been hauled into jail for public nudity, public drunkenness, and general gross stupidity. In Norway, they just told him to go home, take a shower, and sleep it off. So, if you’re ever planning to get stuck naked under a gate, you know where to go.
    Source: Associated Press

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Oh, It Was Hazardous Material, All Right
    T he Water Works employees of Erie, Pennsylvania, first believed something was up after they chased away a mysterious trespasser from the grounds of Sigsbee Reservoir, which contained 33 million gallons of water destined for the use of the good people of Erie. What on Earth would anyone be doing near a reservoir so early in the morning?
    That’s when they saw it: a black bag on the walkway that went around the reservoir. In this day and age, mysterious trespassers and even more mysterious black bags left at reservoirs are not to be trifled with. Fearing sabotage of the city water supply, the Water Works employees called the police. The police ordered a