Unbecoming Read Online Free PDF Page A

heard that?’
    And there it was again. Proof Esme had told them. Proof Esme had betrayed her.
    They giggled like children who’d been told a filthy joke. One of them even bothered to fall off the bench with merriment.
    Go up to them , Katie willed herself. Go up and stamp on their stupid feet . But instead, she found herself trying to look smaller, found herself walking past as if she was insignificant, worthless and might as well be ignored. It was a way of walking that felt familiar. Despite his weight in the world, she’d seen Chris shrink into himself when people stared at him, and it shocked her to realize that walking past these girls made her feel like her brother.
    The maths room was empty except for Ms Nayyar, who looked up from her desk and gave Katie a broad grin as she walked in. ‘Ah, my most reliable student.’
    ‘No one else here?’
    ‘Too hot for them, perhaps?’ She wiped her brow with a dramatic sweep.
    Katie got out her maths stuff. Yes, she agreed, it was a heatwave and yes, it was surprising after last night’s rain and yes, it probably was hotter than Delhi, where Ms Nayyar’s brother hadtaken his kids to visit their grandparents. Katie tried to be interested in the details, tried to nod and smile in the right places, but all she could think was – Esme, why did you tell them?
    All the way through the study session she felt anger build inside her. She was an idiot for trusting anyone. She was also an idiot for coming to maths – the hottest day for ages and she was the only one who’d bothered. What a fool! By the time the class was over, the anger began to feel like something alight. She was so predictable. She hated it about herself, and yet the only unpredictable thing she’d ever done had gone horribly wrong. Even now, she knew that she’d walk across the playground, and if Esme and that lot were still there, she’d hang her head and slink past them. Then she’d walk home in twenty minutes (she’d once been dull enough to time it) and then up to the flat to do more studying.
    The girls had gone. The twenty-minute walk took exactly that, even though fury should have made it quicker, so to make something different happen before a predictable afternoon set in, she went to the shop and bought a box of strawberry Cornettos.
    Mum was at the kitchen table when Katie got in and Mary was in the lounge, which meant they probably hadn’t been in the same room since she left for school. The whole world was at war.
    ‘What’s this?’ Mum said. ‘More sugar?’
    Katie ignored her, tore open the box and handed two to Chris, handed Mum hers and sat at the table to open her own.
    ‘Am I allowed?’ Chris was clearly gobsmacked.
    ‘Live a little,’ Katie told him. ‘Take the other one to Mary.’
    Mum raised an eyebrow. ‘Mary?’
    Katie gave her a long look. ‘We have to call her something. What do you suggest?’
    She knew she was spreading the anger. It was stuck to her like tar and the only way to get it off was to rub it onto other people.
    She ripped the cardboard disc from the top of her ice cream and exposed the white chocolate curls and strawberry sauce. She peeled back the red shiny paper. It made her feel about six years old.
    Chris came back and shoved one of the Cornettos in the freezer. ‘She’s asleep.’
    They sat in silence, licking their ice creams.
    ‘How was school?’ Mum asked eventually.
    ‘Fine.’
    ‘Maths went OK?’
    ‘Yep.’
    ‘You’ll do some practice papers tonight?’
    ‘Sure.’
    Mum sighed. ‘For goodness sake, Katie, don’t go all monosyllabic on me. I’m having a hard enough day as it is! I only asked a simple question.’
    But it wasn’t simple. How was school? It was a more complex question than Mum could ever imagine. Should Katie say, I kissed my best friend and now I’m a social pariah? No, she could never in a million years tell Mum that. What then? News of the gig at the tech college? No, none of that either. They’ll need fake IDs