sensible self could come barging back in, Jaylah called the movers and canceled her appointment, then cracked open her laptop and began placing Craigslist ads for her things.
I’ll donate whatever doesn’t sell, she thought, already feeling a thousand pounds lighter because of her decision to get rid of the remnants of her former life.
When she was done cataloging and writing ads, Jaylah surveyed her apartment with fresh eyes. For once she didn’t feel instantly depressed by her solemn, unimaginative space; she felt hopeful.
Her rebirth had actually happened; it wasn’t a fluke. Her move to London hadn’t been some sort of apparition; it was real. And she was determined to make it work, no matter what.
Five
“What time will the movers be at your apartment on Saturday?” Mrs. Baldwin asked when Jaylah returned home after spending the balance of the day listing her things for sale.
“Oh, they’re not coming. I changed my mind.”
“About moving? Thank goodness! I was hoping you’d stay here instead of running back to London like some teenager.”
Jaylah took a deep breath to calm her nerves. She knew her mother would not take kindly to her new plan, but she didn’t care.
“I’m going back to London, mom. I just decided to sell my things instead of storing them. I don’t really need them anyway.”
“Sell your things ?” Mrs. Baldwin huffed. “I thought you were keeping them here? You don’t even know if this whole London thing is permanent.”
“It is,” Jaylah said , keeping her voice even.
“And what happens if you want to move back, or if you need to come home?”
“Then I’ll come home,” she said, staring directly at her mother. “Daddy likes to park in the garage anyway. My stuff wouldn’t be doing anything but taking up space. And I don’t need it.”
Mrs. Baldwin sucked her teeth and looked to her husband for backup. He was reading a book in the corner of the room, trying to stay out of his wife and daughter’s disagreement—as usual.
“Jay Jay, I know you think going back to London is a good idea, but your father and I were talking about it, and we think you should stay here. I mean, who’s going to help you with the baby?”
Who says there’ll be a damn baby?! Jaylah wanted to yell, but decided against it.
“Mom, I know you and dad want the best for me, but I’m a grown up, ok ay? I have a job there. I have friends. I’ll be fine.” She softened her tone. “And you’re always welcome to come visit.”
“ Friends ,” Mrs. Baldwin spat, “don’t help you raise babies.”
“ If I decide to have this baby I will have all the help I need, mom.”
“If?” Mrs. Baldwin asked, glaring at her daughter. “You’re still talking about if?”
“Yes, if.”
Jaylah’s mother opened her mouth to respond, but decided against it. Instead, she called on her husband before leaving. “Joe, please talk some sense into your daughter.”
Mr. Baldwin put his book down and crossed the room to sit on the couch with Jaylah. His salt-and-pepper hair was cut close to his scalp, and his almond-sha ped eyes, the ones he’d given Jaylah, crinkled as he smiled.
“You know we just want the best for you, baby girl,” he said, patting her on the leg.
“I know, daddy. But mom still treats me like a child. You should have seen her carrying on at the doctor’s office like I was some unfortunate teen mom.”
“I can imagine,” he chuckled, “but this is important stuff. It’s not quite happening how we wante d, you know. Your mom and I always thought we’d be walking you down the aisle before you had a baby, but things happen. We just want to make sure you’re alright.”
“I am, daddy. I’m just not letting anyone pressure me into motherhood.”
“You got that from me,” he smile d. “I can be kinda stubborn, too.”
Jaylah stared into her father’s face and saw her own. Their high cheekbones from her Coushatta great-grandmother, their umber skin that