Two Much! Read Online Free PDF Page A

minute, I can’t pay you the whole thing right now, but I can send you a check for, uh, fifty bucks.”
    â€œA hundred,” he said. “And don’t send it, I’ll come down for it”
    â€œSixty is the absolute best I can do,” I said. “I have the landlord breathing down my neck.”
    â€œEighty.”
    â€œCharlie, you can’t get blood from a stone.”
    â€œI can get blood from you , Art Eighty.”
    â€œOh, very well. Seventy-five. But I don’t know what I’ll tell the landlord.”
    â€œYou’ll think of something. I’ll be there in an hour.”
    â€œNo violence, Charlie, okay? Fun’s fun, okay?”
    â€œI’ll be as good as the check,” he said ominously.
    â€œListen,” I said, “on the trip down, be thinking about this one. ‘Get well soon—my doctor says you have it too.’”
    â€œHave what?”
    â€œDon’t worry about it Charlie. What we want is a girl, like a nice cross between a nurse and a hooker, okay?”
    â€œYou’re a complete birdbrain, Art, you know that?”
    â€œI have faith in you, Charlie,” I said, and hung up, and went out to say to Gloria, “Now, how do you suppose Charlie got my home address?”
    â€œProbably from your sister.”
    â€œThat’s a wonderful theory,” I said, “only slightly hampered by the fact they don’t know each other.”
    â€œCharlie was here yesterday when she called,” Gloria said. “He’s paranoid, he thought it was you on the phone, he grabbed it out of my hand and they had a nice long chat.”
    â€œGoody,” I said. “Get her on the phone, will you?”
    â€œSure.”
    I went back to my office and made out Charlie’s check. Seventy? No, I’d better not fool around; he’d sounded truly annoyed. If only all these people would remain calm until Thanksgiving; but they never do.
    Buzz. “Your sister.”
    â€œFine.” I pushed the button. “Doris?”
    â€œMy goodness, you returned a phone call. To what do I owe the honor?”
    â€œI think of myself as an only child,” I said.
    â€œThat’s your trouble, Art; you think of yourself all the time. Think about somebody else once in a while and—”
    â€œThe reason I’m calling,” I said, “is to tell you I understand you had a nice chat with Charlie Hillerman yesterday.”
    â€œWho? Oh, that artist man in your office.”
    â€œThat’s the one. And Doris, I just wanted to say, if you ever give anybody my home address again, I will come personally over there to Red Bank and cut your vocal cords.”
    â€œOh, that got to you, huh?”
    â€œThis is very serious, Doris. There are all kinds of wrong-headed people wandering loose in New York; you can’t be too careful.”
    â€œIf you’d behave decently to people, you wouldn’t have to be afraid of them.”
    â€œWhat a wonderful concept. In the meantime, keep your mouth shut about my address.”
    â€œI will, if you’ll answer my calls.”
    â€œI’m answering. I suppose it’s Duane and the child support money again.”
    â€œI just can’t talk to him, Art,” she said. “If I even call him on the phone, he rants and raves so much it terrifies me.”
    A perfectly natural reaction, it seemed to me. “If you’d behave decently to people, Doris,” I said, “you wouldn’t have to be afraid of them.”
    â€œOh, you think you’re so smart. All I want you to do is call him and tell him this time I really will have him arrested and put away in prison for ever and ever. Really really really.”
    â€œUh huh. I’ll call him tonight”
    â€œDon’t forget.”
    â€œOf course not. I’m making a note of it now.”
    â€œAnd I’m sorry I gave out your address.”
    â€œGood. I hope I’m not. I