Two Friends Read Online Free PDF Page B

he was in the company of Fascists, he felt something stronger than repulsion, almost hatred. Not a single one of their arguments was convincing—quite to the contrary. He was utterly incapable of cheering during military parades or speeches by Fascist officials; these displays felt like a bitter medicine, which nothing in the world could force him to swallow. When he spent time with someone who approved of or defended the regime, he experienced a deep, irrepressible discomfort, as if in the presence of a lie that must be combated at all costs. In other words, he was an anti-Fascist, at least in the presence of Fascists. But when he found himself in the company of a group of stalwart anti-Fascists, like the young men, around his age, whomet sometimes in a neighborhood café, he felt only a halfhearted enthusiasm for their declarations. He did not dislike them as much as he did the Fascists, or rather he liked them while at the same time feeling a mix of envy and discouragement. Though he agreed with what they said, he did not experience the kind of heartfelt ardor that melts away the many layers of intelligent thought to become a clear conviction. He tried to attribute this lack of conviction to external causes like the fact that his brother was fighting in Russia. But the truth was that this was simply his nature; he was convinced that he would have shown a similar lack of conviction no matter what the circumstances. His heart was frozen and his mind could express only doubts.
    As time passed, the military situation worsened. Sergio noticed that the momentous, catastrophic news that appeared in the papers inspired no noticeable rumblings inside of him. The day Fascism fell, a day so intensely desired and awaited, he lay on
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    his bed, as usual, with a cigarette in one hand and a book in the other. One of his sisters ducked into his doorway and gave him the news, dramatically. Sergio paused and collected his thoughts for a moment before getting up to join the crowds that, he was sure, were forming in the streets of the city. Then he changed his mind and gave up on the idea of going out. The next day, even after hearing about the celebrations, he felt no regrets for not taking part.
    And then, suddenly, in the days that followed the fall of Fascism, he was finally presented with an opportunity to act, as if by miracle. This was the opportunity he had sought for so long, in vain. One day ashe was crossing the sun-baked street, fiddling with a packet of cigarettes in his pocket, he heard someone calling him from across the road. He hesitated and then looked up, quickly recognizing the person calling out to him: it was Maurizio, this time on foot, no longer in an officer’s uniform but rather in a civilian shirt and crumpled trousers. Sergio noticed that his friend was waving enthusiastically. With some hesitation, he crossed the street.
    Maurizio said quickly: “I’m not an officer anymore … I threw my uniform into the weeds … What are you up to? You must be happy!”
    “Why should I be happy?”
    “You wanted the regime to fall, and now you have what you wanted!”
    “Yes,” Sergio said, distractedly, “now I have what I wanted.”
    Maurizio did not seem to be listening. Cheerfully, he said, “I’m getting out of here. This won’t last. The Fascists will be back and who knows what will happen. It’s better to get out of Rome. I’m going south … to Capri.”
    “Capri?”
    “Yes, Capri … After all, it’s an island … You never know … The Allies are already in Calabria … In a few days they’ll be in Naples, maybe even farther north … Do you want to come?”
    “With you?”
    “That’s right.”
    “But I …” Sergio began, buying time to reflect on Maurizio’s proposal. “I’m totally … broke … and Capri is an expensive town.”
    Maurizio laughed; he seemed overexcited and unusually affectionate. “I’ll lend you all the money you need … I’ll pay for the