Twist of Fae
office.
    ****
    As I pulled up to the house, I saw that Charlie was already
waiting for me at the gate. How does he do that? I wondered as I pulled my car
into the driveway. Charlie was my dog. Weighing in at about 185 pounds, he's
part Great Dane and part, well, let's just say he's part something else.
    As I opened the door he was halfway in and turning his big
head to face me before I could even get the seatbelt unbuckled.
    "What the hell, Charlie?" I asked, trying to push
him back so I could get out.
    "Faeries are upset. They have found something."
    Oh, yeah, he can talk, too.
    "What did they find?" I asked as he jumped down. I
got out of the car and followed him around the house into the backyard. The
conversation from earlier was forgotten, at least for the moment.
    "They said it was an Imp," he answered.
    "An Imp?" I started to say. I never finished
because as soon as I stepped out onto the back patio I was assailed by no less
than five small Faeries. They buzzed my head and were talking all at once and
so fast that all I could hear was chattering.
    "Guys, guys, slow down! I can't understand a word y'all
are saying."
    The Faeries suddenly stopped their buzzing and one flew
directly in front of my face. Stopping a few inches from my nose, she shook her
finger at me and jutted her chest out, pointing to her breasts.
    "Yes, yes, Fiora, I know. Please accept my apology. I
know you're not a guy. It's just a figure of speech," I said in reply.
    That's the problem with Garden Faeries. They're not usually
that literal. As a general rule they don’t say too much. The truth is, they
almost never say anything unless I talk to them first. Usually they just flit
about tending to the plants and trees. Oh sure, they nod and wink to let me
know that they're around. They're temperamental, too. Especially when it comes
to their plants. And when they get excited, well, let's just say that it can
get interesting.
    Although I probably don’t need to mention the obvious, most
of them are female, as I was just sternly reminded. Although to be truthful,
it's kind of hard to miss, since they don’t wear any clothes. As to Fiora, she
was quite the beauty as well, especially with that streak of purple that made
her dark hair stand out. It's just that since I see them all the time it's
easier to think of them as human, which they definitely are not. Sometimes I
forget that you can't talk to them as if they were. But then again, I've got a
talking dog and cat and they don’t exactly think like humans either. Why should
Garden Faeries be any different?
    My explanation seemed to appease her as she nodded
graciously and then blushed, suddenly remembering who she was talking to. Oh,
yeah, I may have forgotten to mention that Garden Faeries are part of the Dryad
realms and that made me, for lack of a better term, their King.
    "So," I asked. "What have you found?"
    "A spy," said one.
    "Yes, a spy" said another.
    "A spy. We found a spy," they all repeated until
Fiora raised her arm and the rest finally fell quiet.
    "My Lord," she began. "While tending to your
neighbor's garden we found an Imp hiding behind the stone fence. We believe he
was trying to gain access to your domain, so we captured him." She seemed
quite proud of herself, but then again, I guess she should be. Garden Faeries
weren't exactly known to be subtle to trespassers. Sure, they looked all cute
and cuddly, but they could be nasty when provoked, as could any Fae.
    "Well done," I said, knowing that I had to
congratulate them before asking the obvious. "And where is this spy
now?"
    "Still where we found him," Fiora answered.
"Bound in silk so he cannot get away."
    "That was wise," I said, knowing that they would
never have brought him into the yard without permission. Besides, I had wards
protecting the place that even the Elves couldn't get through unless granted
entry.
    Whatever he was, he wasn't a threat as long as he was
outside the yard. Of course I had to get him here to see who
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