heart couldn’t come up with a more romantic boyfriend. But then you get older and realize living into the day just doesn’t work all that well in the long-run, no matter how positive the attitude. But today, I soak it up and take it with me as I make my way back to my parents’ house.
I sing to Archer the whole way home. Not some children’s songs. My son grows up with decent music. Well, at least when he ignores my voice and just listens to the song. During the short ride, he’s had to listen to my rendition of “Sweet Dreams” by Eurythmics, Eric Clapton’s “Tears In Heaven,” that was interrupted by my sobs that are usually brought on by this song, and “Try” by Pink. He seems to find my singing amusing, if his giggles are any indication. Or what’s more likely, he is laughing at me. Either way, we arrive at my parents’ house laughing and giggling.
Chapter 3
Thanksgiving Dinner In Hell
Thankfully, my mom doesn’t need any help in the kitchen and instead of socializing with the guys, I decide to lay down with Archer for his nap.
The good mood from the visit to the mall only lasts until dinner though. As I come down the stairs, I can already see that Ben has the seat opposite of mine. In that moment, I’m thankful for having started Archer on solid food, which I know will keep me busy since he likes to share his food with everything and everyone that doesn’t run away fast enough.
As we all sit down, my father starts saying grace. Not that I have seen any of them go to church since I can remember, but for the holidays, both my parents suddenly seem to have this deep connection with God. I have a hard time not rolling my eyes, so instead I look around the room. That is until my eyes meet Ben’s. His stare bores through me and it feels like it’s going to crack me open and spill my broken heart onto the table. I quickly break eye contact and look down onto my plate, aware that he’s still looking at me.
Fortunately, as we start eating, everyone else engages in a conversation about football, while I’m busy stuffing my face with roasted potatoes and veggies, at the same time feeding Archer his carrots and peas.
Just when I think that this dinner might be peaceful and relaxed, Ben suddenly addresses me, “So Frankie, you have a baby? How did that happen?”
He stares at me, his lips a strained line and his eyebrows furrowed. Thanks to the pure rage boiling inside of me for him feeling the need to ask such a ridiculous question, I can hold his gaze, while shooting daggers at him with my eyes.
Before I can tell him that they had them on sale at the supermarket, or ask him if he missed that many biology classes, my father pipes up and makes me want to stab myself in the eye with the fork. Or him. I’m not that picky.
“You see, Ben, our daughter thought it would be a good idea to go and get herself pregnant. But that is what happens when you sleep around; you become a single mother and everyone thinks you have loose morals. We don’t even know who fathered our grandson, although we suspect it was her married professor. Not the type of man to bring home to your parents.”
“And we are back on the ‘our daughter is a raging whore’ show. Tonight we present you the same old shit as usual. And just for the fucking record, I know damn well who the father is. I just choose to not disclose that information. But it definitely isn’t my professor.” Harsh words? Maybe. But this is what the constant criticism and insults will do to you.
“How about some manners at the table?” Dad growls, while Dave rolls his eyes. There hasn’t been a peaceful meal in this house since my uterus became home to a little peanut.
My mom ignores both me and my dad. Instead, she joins the conversation lamenting her woes and sorrows to someone that hasn’t heard them before.
“Don’t get me wrong, Ben. We love our grandson. It would have been nice though, if Frankie could have