Turtle in Paradise Read Online Free PDF Page A

her come already,” Kermit says.
    Beans shoves his hat over his eyes. “You can’t change diapers, got it?”
    “Fine by me,” I say.
    “Which means you can’t get candy, neither,” Pork Chop says.
    In short order, the wagon is packed tight with babies, like cigars in a box. There’s Pudding again, and two other babies—one named Carlos and one named Essie.
    As we walk along, barefoot boys shout out to Beans.
    “Hey, Beans! How’re the babies today?” a grubby kid calls. “You need me, you just ask!”
    “You want any help, Beans?” another one offers.
    “Say, Beans, you want me to fill in until Ira gets back?”
    I guess it’s the same all over: everyone just wants a job.
    “Where’s your father?” I ask Kermit.
    “He’s up in Matecumbe, working on the highway,” he says.
    “How come you didn’t go with him?”
    “Mama didn’t want to move. She said it’s a wilderness up there. Poppy comes home every few weeks.”
    “Least he’s got a job,” I say.
    That’s the good thing about Archie. He’s always had work, not like some of Mama’s other fellas. Before I left home, he took me aside.
    “Here, princess,” he said, handing me a five-dollar bill. “For emergencies.”
    “Thanks,” I said.
    He knelt down and looked me in the eye.
    “Everything’s going to work out,” he said. “I promise.”
    The wagon hits a bump, and the front-right wheel falls off, making the wagon tip. The babies wake up bawling.
    “This bum wagon,” Beans says.
    Pork Chop picks up the loose wheel and bangs it back on.
    Kermit sniffs. “I think Pudding’s got a bad diaper.”
    “What are you waiting for, then?” Beans says.
    Kermit takes the baby out of the wagon, lays him on the ground, and undoes the soiled diaper. Then he pulls a clean rag out of his pocket and wipes the bare bottom. It’s red as can be.
    “Look at his bungy! No wonder the kid’s crying,” Kermit says.
    “Bungy?”
I say.
    “What? Kids in New Jersey don’t have bungys?” Pork Chop says.
    “Use the formula,” Beans orders.
    Pork Chop digs around in the wagon, pulls out a small cloth sack, and hands it to Kermit, who sprinkles Pudding’s bottom liberally with white powder. Then he pins on a fresh diaper and plops the baby back in the wagon.
    “That’s the secret diaper formula?” I ask, unimpressed.
    “Yep,” Beans says.
    “What’s in it?”
    Beans makes a face. “It’s secret. You got to be in the Diaper Gang.”
    “Speaking of wanting to be in the Diaper Gang,” Pork Chop says, “look who’s coming.”
    The big-eared boy who was skulking around Curry Lane my first day comes running up to us.
    “Hey, Beans!” the boy says, panting.
    “Too Bad,” Beans says coolly.
    “I went to the lane but your ma said you’d left already,” he says.
    “We got babies,” Beans says.
    “See, I was wondering if I could have another try?” the boy asks, swallowing hard.
    “We’ve given you three tries already, Too Bad,” Beans says.
    Too Bad starts talking fast. “But I been practicing! Honest, I have!”
    Pork Chop and Beans share a look.
    “Give him a baby,” Beans says.
    Kermit pulls baby Carlos out of the blankets and hands him to Too Bad, who looks nervous.
    Beans crosses his arms in front of him. “Go on now. Let’s see what you can do.”
    Too Bad lays the baby on the ground and unpins the diaper. He tugs a rag out of his back pocket and gives the baby a wipe. Before he can grab a fresh diaper, a stream of liquid hits him right in the face.
    “Aww,” Too Bad says.
    Pork Chop and Beans burst out laughing.
    “Rule number three,” Pork Chop says, wagging his finger at Too Bad. “Always duck.”
    “’Specially with baby boys,” Kermit adds.
    Too Bad shuffles off, a disappointed look on his face.
    “See ya later, Too Bad!” Beans calls.
    “Yeah, too bad you’ll never be in the Diaper Gang!” Pork Chop shouts.

    The afternoon air is steamy as a wet wool sock on a hot radiator when the Diaper Gang return