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hadn’t realized I’d said aloud. “Since you’re here, you might as well write one of your stories about what all’s going on, me being in dire straits, penned up in jail like a common criminal and such, and send it to the paper. That’ll get some attention. If you do a good job, it might even make the wire service.”
    “That’s not how it works. And even if it did, I wouldn’t write articles about family. It’s a conflict of interest.” It also isn’t smart since I’m kind of particular about printing the truth, and as best I could tell, there wasn’t much of that to be had here from Her Highness, and what was true wouldn’t reflect that well on her, and therefore me. Nope, not something I was getting dragged into. Ever. “No way.”
    “Good grief, Jolene, you act like it’s some big deal to write up a simple story. How hard can it be to tell what the scumbags are up to and why everybody in their right minds should rally and stop them? Shouldn’t take you over ten minutes.”
    Ten minutes. Did she think I was that good, or that what I do for a living takes such little skill and effort that it can be accomplished instantly? Don’t answer that. “No.”
    She hopped up and began to pace yet again. “Well, we need some national coverage, and a story in that Denver paper would surely get some kind of attention.”
    Yes, surely it would. Not the kind she’d want, but it would get attention. “No.”
    “I called CNN and the girl who answered the phone said they’d send a whole crew out immediately. She was real sweet about it, even offered to send Barbara Walters. I thought that was real nice of them, but I said I hated for her to have to drop her big celebrity interviews for it. I guess I shouldn’t have been so thoughtful since whoever their next in line was, Harry King I think was his name, certainly didn’t bother to show up. I know if Barbara had been given the assignment she’d have been here in no time.”
    I gritted my teeth and kind of smiled. No way did any of that need to be clarified, rectified or even discussed, especially by me.
    Lucille stopped in front of Leroy’s desk and tapped her nails then proceeded onward as if I were in complete agreement, not to mention cahoots, with her. “An interview from the jail cell is what we need though. And where is CBS? I called them too, and that Fox station. You’d think with the kinds of things they have on that channel they’d have jumped at the chance to be in on a real hot story like this one.”
    “Um, excuse me, Media Queen—”
    “Not now, Jolene, I’m thinking.” Lucille continued to march around the small room. Two steps, stomp, spin, two steps, stomp, spin. “Okay here’s what we do. They just hauled in some drunks and a gas thief a little while ago. I’ll get in the jail room beside them. The kindly sweet grandmother behind bars for a cause. It’s a good angle, and since the TV people aren’t doing anything to speak of we’ll just have to make do with what we’ve got. We’ll get some photos first then worry about what we’re going to write later. Run get your camera, Jolene.”
    “What? We have covered this already. No. I’m not taking photos because I am not a photographer. I am not writing a story about you because I am your daughter and no one would print it.” That wasn’t the only reason I wasn’t writing a story for her, or even the best reason, but it was one that should register since her main goal was scoring column inches. “This is your deal, not mine. I am here because… Why am I here?”
    “Hey, Jolene,” Leroy said, rubbing his chin as if in deep thought. “I’ve got a camera out at the house that you can use.”
    Had either of them even noticed I’d already said this wasn’t going to happen? “We really don’t need a camera, Leroy.” Particularly since the only kind of camera Leroy Harper was capable of handling was the Polaroid variety. “Thanks anyway.”
    “It’s a real good one. Nikon