Truly Tasteless Jokes Two Read Online Free PDF

reaches the clinic and is standing in front of the admitting nurse’s desk, dying of self-consciousness.
    “The doctor will be right with you,” says the nurse. “Say, what’s that hole in the middle of your forehead?”
    “My belly button,” blurts out the guy, “how d’ya like my tie?”
    *
    Did you hear about the flasher who decided to retire?
Yeah, but he changed his mind and decided to stick it out another year.

Female Anatomy
     
     
    What do you call a woman who can suck a golf ball through fifty feet of garden hose?
Darling.
    *
    What’s the perfect woman?
A deaf, dumb, and blind nymphomaniac who owns a liquor store.
    *
    This well-to-do suburban matron makes an appointment for her annual checkup with a new gynecologist. Following the examination, he ushers her into his office to give her the results. “You’ll be glad to hear that everything is absolutely in order,” he says, leaning forward with a smile. “In fact, you have the cleanest vagina I’ve ever seen.”
    “It should be,” she snaps. “I’ve got a colored man coming in twice a week.”
    *
    A young lady went out on a date with a young man she found quite attractive, so after dinner and the movies she invited him back to her apartment. Sitting him down on her couch with a drink, she proceeded to nibble on his ear, play with his hair, and so on, but the fellow only pulled up his collar and rubbed his hands together for warmth. The young lady pulled out all the stops, sitting on his lap, even directing his hands to appropriate portions of her anatomy. But he took no action whatsoever and violently resisted her efforts to unbutton even a single one of his outer garments.
    Finally in desperation, after a particularly passionate kiss had met with no response, she said, “You know, I have a hole down here.”
    “Oh,” he said with evident relief, “so that’s where the draft is coming from!”
    *
    It was late at night, and the tired cabbie was on his last run of the night. Reaching the destination, he said to the little old lady in the back seat, “That’ll be eight bucks, please.”
    There was no answer, so thinking her hearing might be at fault, he said loudly, “Lady, the fare is eight bucks.”
    Still no response. So he turned around, only to be greeted by the sight of the elderly woman hoisting her skirts and spreading her legs, no underwear impairing his view.
    “Well, sonny,” she cackled, “will this be payment enough?”
    “Aw, lady,” he sighed, “doncha have anything smaller?”
    *
    What do you call a JAP’s nipple?
The tip of the iceberg.
    *
    Why do women like hunters?
Three reasons:
They go deep into the bush.
They always shoot twice.
And they always eat what they shoot.
    *
    This middle-aged woman decides she’s not getting any younger and that it’s time to spice up her sex life. Since she has always had a crush on the Beatles, she goes to the local tattooist with a very specific request. “I would like John Lennon tattooed on the inside of my right thigh, looking up,” she instructs him, “and Paul McCartney on the left thigh, looking up. Now, are you sure you can handle this?”
    The tattooist assures her that he’s the best in the business, and sets to work.
    A week or two later, the recuperation period is over. The woman takes off the bandages and goes over to her mirror in great anticipation, only to discover that to her horror the two portraits bear no resemblance at all to Lennon and McCartney. She rushes over to the tattooist’s office in a rage.
    “I don’t see what you’re complaining about,” he says soothingly. “I think the likenesses are astonishing. But clearly we need a third, unbiased opinion. So he goes out to the sidewalk and brings back the first person he encounters, a wino still reeling from the night before. Confronting him with the evidence, the tattooist asks the wino, “Now on that right side, does that look like John Lennon?”
    “I dunno,” says the wino after a long