since Baron Münchausen.
His physical appearance varied as extravagantly as his name. The underlying structure, the basic John Smythe, was inconspicuously averageâabout my height, rather slightly built, with no identifying characteristics. In repose his features could only be described as pleasantly unmemorable, but they were capable of a rubbery flexibility any actor would have sold his soul to possess. The color of his hair and eyes varied, according to the circumstances (usually illegal); but, as I had good cause to know, he was fair-haired and blue-eyed. The only features he had trouble disguisingâfrom me, at leastâwere his lashes, long and thick as a girlâs, and his hands. Deft, skillful hands, long-fingered, deceptively slenderâ¦
âShall I ask the waiter for more butter?â Schmidt asked sweetly.
I looked at my plate. On it were five pieces of bread, each buried under a greasy yellow mound.
âNo, thanks, this will do,â I said, and bit into one of the slices. The slippery, sliding texture of the butter against the roof of my mouth made me want to gag.
Schmidt is a canny little kobold. He didnât refer to the subject again. He didnât have to. The damage had been done, though not by him. By the photograph, the fake, the fraud.
I left work early, and when I got home that evening I did something I had sworn I would never do again. The portrait was buried deep under a pileof cast-off, out-of-date business papers. Usually it takes me days to find a needed receipt or letter, but I had no trouble finding this particular item.
The portrait was not a photograph, or a sketch, or a painting. I had no snapshots of John; I doubt if many people did. He had good cause to be leery of cameras. But the silhouette had been cut by a master of that dying art; the black paper outline captured not only the distinctive bone structure and the sculptured line of that arrogant nose, but also a personality, in the confident tilt of the chin and the suggestion of a faint smile on the thin, chiseled lips.
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People claim wine is a depressant. It never depressed me until that evening. I sat on my nice newly upholstered couch with my nice friendly dog sleeping at my feet, sipping my nice chilled Riesling Spätlese , and my mood got blacker with every sipâblack as the scissored outline at which I stared. It might have been the chilly hiss of sleet against the windows. It might have been Caesar, moaning and twitching in a doggish nightmare. Sometimes dogs seem to have happy dreams. I had always assumed they grinned and whined at visions of bones, and overflowing food dishes, and friendly hands stroking them. What then were the subjects of canine nightmares? Giant cats the size of grizzly bears? Perhaps Caesar was reliving the tribulations of his youth, before I adopted him. I would never forget my first sight of him, burstingwith fangs bared and eyes blazing out of the darkness of the antique shop I happened to be burgling. His keeper had kept him half-starved and beaten him to make him savageâ¦
John was one of the gangâart swindlers, forgers of historic gems. He boasted that half the great art collections contained copies he had substituted for the priceless originals, and he was particularly proud of the fact that the substitutions had never been detected. Not for him the armed attack, the murdered guards, the crude, grab-it-and-run techniques of lesser craftsmen. John abhorred violence, particularly when it was directed against him.
However, he had killed at least one man. I couldnât complain about that since the man he killed had been doing his damnedest to murder me.
John had vanished under the icy storm-lashed waters of Lake Vippen six months earlier, taking with him the aquatic assassin who had picked me as victim number one. The body of the man he killed had been found a few days later. John had never been seen again.
The scenario was as romantically tragic as