know Iâm attractive to men. But to you, Murdo, the drink was more attractive.â
âIt wasnât as simple as that.â
âWasnât it?â
âNo,â Murdo said. âYouâve got to understand, I had a good reason for going on the drink that night.â
âWhat good reason?â Rachel said.
âThe tour was going to come to an end in a few daysâ time,â Murdo said. âAll during that day in Golspie, the feeling grew stronger and stronger within me that I was all alone in this world.â
âAll alone?â Rachel said. âBut the place was jam packed that night.â
âBefore we started,â Murdo said, âI was at the door of the committee room peeping out at the people as they were coming in, and I wondered why I couldnât have alife like them: a cosy little world where youâd be living with someone who loved you and whom you loved back, where youâd do your best, even though youâd never have glorious success.â
âAnd?â Rachel said.
âAnd I made myself a promise Iâd be all right, and I took a dram,â Murdo said.
âAnd you got drunk?â
âPissed as a newt,â Murdo said.
âAnd you carried on like that . . . in Dingwall and Aultbea . . .â Rachel said. âDo you know that when you didnât appear in those places I still had to pay for the hall and I had to pay folk back for the tickets theyâd bought?â
âI had no choice,â Murdo said.
âYouâre kidding yourself on, Murdo,â Rachel said.
âHow?â
âYou were frothing at the mouth just now telling me how youâd like to have a normal life like other people,â Rachel said. âLies! All your life, Murdo, youâve been running away from the world by drinking too much. Itâs high time you stood up and showed us the real Murdo. The boozing is destroying you . . . and those nearest to you.â
âThis is too hard,â Murdo said. âIâve got to go.â
âI canât stop you . . . and I canât help you either,â Rachel said.
âI know,â Murdo said. âThis oneâs up to me.â
âMurdo, people have been too willing to help you,â Rachel said. âThatâs whatâs wrong. Weâre too fond of you, too fond of listening to you when youâre on a creative roll, so youâve been spoiled by us all. It was too easy for you to get forgiveness, and you got it too often.â
âI told you already Iâd get you the money,â Murdo said.
âLetâs have a proper deal,â Rachel said. âYou keep sober and get the money. Then Iâll give you a reward.â
âA reward?â
âIâll give you the chance to make things better between us,â Rachel said.
âIâll keep off the drink, Iâll get the money and . . . then, Iâll get . . . the chance of getting close too you again?â Murdo said.
âI know you need some time to think about it,â Rachel said. âItâs just a proposal Iâm making to you. I know what itâs like to be alone.â
âIâll need to find someone with a fat wallet,â Murdo said.
âGo,â Rachel said. âRemember, Murdo, two oâclock at the latest . . . and âthe ocean of a thousand kissesâ tonight.â
âHow much did I borrâ How much did I steal?â Murdo said.
âThree hundred pounds.â
âWell, Iâll get us three hundred and fifty,â Murdo said and jumped out the van.
Â
Thatâs our Rachel. A tough lady. But sheâs not without fault herself. She used to smoke and I hated that. I told her it wasnât feminine. She chucked it and she now chews tobacco. Ha ha. Joking, only joking. But, she can be pretty determined when she puts her mind to it. When she wants to be, she can be as tough as . . . well, if you want proof of how