Travels in Nihilon Read Online Free PDF Page A

porter at the frontier is a near impossibility, and travellers are advised to bring as little luggage as possible.’ She crossed out ‘a near impossibility’ and wrote ‘extremely difficult’, for she saw a tall well-built man wearing a dark uniform coming towards her. ‘Excuse me, madame,’ he said, touching his gold-braided cap, ‘I’m the stationmaster. May I help you?’
    â€˜I would like a porter,’ she smiled.
    There are no porters today,’ he said. ‘They’re all across at the hotel waiting to see the Geriatrics charge into action on television. It’s a great day for Nihilon. The old folks are rearing to go at Cronacia, because of the treacherous attack. Unfortunately I have to stay here and keep essential services going.’
    â€˜I’ve just come from Cronacia,’ Jaquiline told him, ‘and it’s peaceful there. People are very happy and amiable.’
    The stationmaster looked at her sardonically: ‘You should try telling that to President Nil. It’s difficult for you to understand our situation. Anyway, the incident was in the south, not up here. That’s why it’s peaceful. Otherwise there’d be war here as well, believe me.’ He took a suitcase under his arm, and one in each hand.
    â€˜It’s very kind of you,’ she said, following him.
    â€˜You’d better get some of our money,’ he told her, a piece of advice he obviously believed in, for he set her cases down before a money-changer’s window. ‘This is a branch of the Nihilon Bank. They don’t change money on the train, except at two hundred to the unit.’
    â€˜That’s double the rate,’ she said, opening her handbag. ‘I’ll wait till I get on, then.’
    He shook his head. ‘Don’t. It’s illegal. The currency they give you on the train is forged. You get real ones here.’
    â€˜Oh, I see,’ she said and, not to be hurried, wrote in her notebook: ‘Travellers are strongly advised to change money on arrival at the Nihilon frontier post, and should on no account attempt to do so on the trains, as such currency as is then given, though twice that of the official rate, is frequently forged.’ She then changed twenty units, for which she unknowingly received two thousand forged klipps, and followed him to the passport and visa control office.
    No one had ever settled the question as to whether a visa was necessary for a visit to Nihilon. At home, Jaquiline had applied for information to the nearest Nihilonian consulate which, by a happy coincidence, was situated in the same building as the offices of the proposed Guide to Nihilon. The following advice-note was returned to her:
    â€˜To enter Nihilon a passport provided with a permanent or transitory visa obtainable from any Nihilon consulate is essential. The former is valid for a stay of one year, while the latter does not permit a sojourn at all.’
    In the same envelope was a printed form entitled: ‘Visa Application for Sojourn in Nihilon.’ The first questions were harmless enough, but they later became more personal, posing such queries as to how many children her four grandparents had had, whether they drank or not, and if so, what diseases and divorces there had been for as far back as she could remember. Then the questions ceased to be merely personal. They became shockingly intimate. Jaquiline, almost thirty, but looking younger, had had a good share of experience, but her upbringing had been strict and proper, so that she had controlled her life with such skilful discretion that hardly anyone suspected her of so many adventures. These questions, therefore, prying into the most intimate secrets of her sex life, made her indignant. Forgetting that she had already filled in the harmless part of the form, she tore it into four pieces, put it into an envelope, and posted it back to the Nihilonian consulate. Two days