for it, and he said I should stop talking nonsense, not to be so touchy, and if he went along with that kind of attitude he might as well eat turnip soup all his life. Believe me, he said, you need this pen more than a hundred sheepskins. He offered to take it home, wash it out, and put a good dose of peopleâs democratic ink into it, because I didnât have any. And I soaked the pen in lukewarm water for a whole night to get the little pump working again; and it was already working for weeks but I still didnât know what to do with it. Then somebody was going to Brussels, and from then on I used this pen to write my sisterâs letters to my mother.
.   .   .
âHave you ever been here before?â asked the priest.
âNo, I havenât. But Iâll try to feel at home,â I said.
âMost recently the place belonged to the workersâ militia,â he said.
âLooks like they used it well,â I said.
âThey had their rifle practice back there, in the apple orchard. At first, they used regular cardboard targets, but when the local dogcatcher joined the club, they also availed themselves of stray dogs. Of course, that seems like a childrenâs prank when compared to a priest annihilating his flock with sacred wafers.â
âIâll be straight with you, Father, I was hoping you harbored none of that clerical resentment,â I said.
âCome on, clerical resentment left me a long time ago. Why do you think they transferred me to this godforsaken place from a cathedral in which kings had been crowned? By your criteria, I am a positively good priest.â
I held the flashlight for him while he worked the key inside the lock, and then we stepped into the kitchen that used to be the gym and he turned on the light.
âUnfortunately, they took the wall bars with them, but the springboards and the vaulting horses are still kept in the attic.â
âOut in the world, oneâs expectations are different.â
âWell, what would you like, celery or liver dumpling soup?â
âCelery.â
âI could make some eggs.â
âDonât bother,â I said. âYour cookâs run away?â
âYes, but letâs call her my wife. True, there was no marriage before God, but wife fits her more than any other description.â
âWhat happened?â
âNothing special. I taught geography, she physics, and then a new gymteacher came to our school. I donât suppose I am adding anything new to the many moving tales of love. Luckily, there are no children.â
âIn general, though, the road from divorce doesnât always lead straight to joining the clergy.â
âI was lucky. I might say I had a divine experience. My hand slipped in the school library and instead of The Golden Ass of Apuleius, I took Saint Augustineâs Confessions off the shelf.â
âNot bad for a divine experience.â
âMaybe a bit too much for a beginner. At first, I must have been more zealous than was necessary, because I was asked very soon to leave education. I calmed down and, at thirty, enrolled in theological studies. Thatâs about the size of it.â
âAnd what did you take off the shelf once they transferred you to this Godforsaken place?â
âAgain Saint Augustineâs Confessions .â
.   .   .
While the water for the celery soup was heating on the gas, we brought in some wood and built a fire in the guest room, in the weapons room, to be more exact; and to be even more exact, in the smoking room of one of the Weér counts of yore who, according to my calculations, must have been my great-great-granduncle or my great-great-great-granduncle, but in the worst case one of the cousins of my great-great-granduncle. I didnât really have anything concrete on which to base my calculations, because as the family kept dwindling, as the familyâs