Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself: 40 Ways to Transform Your Inner Critic and Your Life Read Online Free PDF Page A

hurtful things other people have done, and taking the blame for those actions. I've not done anything to deserve the things that have happened to me.
    And the last belief I'm changing: I'll never be happy. Not with that attitude, I won't—but then, aren't I already happy? I may not have all the things I want yet, like my dream job, but I do have a lot of other things in my life that mean a lot to me: my friends, my home, my cat, my family, waking up to the river every morning, my floating garden (I live on a boat), my creativity. Happiness comes from the small things—it comes from inside of me. I don't buy happiness or find it or receive it; I make it, for others and for myself.
    The fact that people sometimes hurt other people won't change. My beliefs that have left me open to suffering— my beliefs —will change.
    Take a minute to think of your beliefs about yourself. How many of these things are accurate? Which ones belong to you and to you alone? If you find a belief that you question, explore it and find out where it came from, what it's founded on. Challenge it. Become true to yourself. When you change your beliefs, you change your life.
    It's taking time to work through these things, and I don't expect to be finished by next Monday, but that's what I love about change and self-improvement—there's no pressure to be complete tomorrow. I can do it all at my own pace, in a way that suits me. I'm a work in progress. And that gives me a lot of hope.
RELEASING SHAME AND LOVING ALL OF YOU
    by Sarah Louise Byrne
    When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you .
    —A FRICAN P ROVERB
    If you've had any experiences where you had to keep your truth quiet, particularly as a child, it's time to reclaim it and value its power. By doing so, you will release energy, old shame, and subconscious blocks that may now be holding you back from living your life to the fullest.
    It could be that you had lots of family secrets (which creates shame), or it could be that you were bullied and felt unable to confide in anyone about it. There are many circumstances when we have our truth kept locked in. If you feel unable to speak your truth, then you feel shame. It's nature's law.
    When we become shameful of our truth, we end up cutting off, discrediting, and devaluing a hugely important chunk of who we are and how we show up in the world. This is true for me. When I was growing up, my parents had an emotionally abusive relationship, and I was sworn to secrecy about it. My parents wanted no one outside of the house to know what was going on. While my father had angerissues, my mother always tried to keep the peace, so I decided it was better to not speak up or voice my feelings. Living under the same roof as them, it was impossible for me to not be affected by what was happening; yet I was unable to have my experience validated.
    My parents were busy fighting, being in tension, or creating drama, and I was conditioned to not talk to anyone about our “trouble at home.” So my truth was released only to my journal and me. After my parents divorced, I moved on to college and started my adult life. I felt proud of myself for staying strong through all the tough times at home, for being an emotional rock for my mother, and for forgiving my father for not being the kind of dad I wanted him to be. But in my mid- to late-twenties, things started to shift. After a few career U-turns, I started to feel unsure, confused, and shameful.
    Up until that point I'd always considered myself to be strong, independent, and able to make decisions easily, and I was, overall, really confident. I wanted to understand where this shame came from. When in my life had I felt shame this strongly? It led me back to when I was unable to truly have presence as “me” growing up—I was the girl who could only be a silent participant in an unhealthy household. When I was told to not talk to anyone about what was going on, it was as if I was being