The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy Read Online Free PDF

fantasy that works for you. You can learn to mine your masturbatory fantasies for arousal tools. Take a moment to recall your last masturbation session. What felt good? What were you thinking? Did you have a scenario in mind, a picture in your head? Were you watching a hot porn video? Don’t worry about whether the idea or image is “good,” “bad,” or appropriate—right now you are simply using your erotic imagination as a tool. Think about how it started, the buildup, and what made you come. It’s likely that you began with an idea; the images or action escalated in some way, then began to crescendo, and reached a peak that coincided with orgasm. Think about the beginning of your masturbation session, the start and the buildup—this is how you turn yourself on.
    Digging into what turned you on most recently is a technique for becoming aroused again, and reliving the experience provides a stepping-stone to better controlling or intensifying your arousal. Get turned on, and try something new—allow yourself to become as aroused as you can stand, and see what images appear as you near orgasm.
    To make your orgasms better, more intense, more reliable, and to explore multiple orgasms—including, for men, orgasm without ejaculation—take your time masturbating, and proceed as slowly as you can. Try taking yourself to the heights of arousal, but don’t allow yourself to go over the edge—prolong the inevitable for as long as you can. Practitioners of Tantra use conscious breathing and slow sexual techniques to build up to intense orgasms. Men can learn to take themselves up to the edge of orgasm and, employing the “squeeze” technique,back off again, eventually learning how to have multiple orgasms, which means coming without ejaculation.
    A Tool for Men: The Squeeze Technique
    The squeeze technique is an easy way to keep yourself from coming before you or your partner is ready (and you don’t need to use those potentially harmful—and questionably effective—“delay” creams or sprays). The squeeze is done by placing your hand at the tip of the penis so that the thumb is on the underside, or frenulum, with the fingertips placed on top, on the coronal ridge. When you get close, stop everything—especially any fantasies—and squeeze for three or four seconds. Some men find that squeezing at the base works best, and others find that pulling their balls down, away from the body, works just as well—experiment to see how you respond. To read more about orgasm techniques for men, pick up a copy of The Multi-Orgasmic Man , by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams.
    You can teach yourself new sexual techniques—and have a lot of fun in the process—using your newfound skill for conjuring up fantasies that turn you on. Having an orgasm during partnered sex, or from something you don’t usually orgasm from, such as oral or anal sex, is possible when you employ arousal, masturbation, and fantasy techniques. It’s a gradual process, but well worth the effort.
    When you want to incorporate a new technique into your sex life, such as deep throating or vaginal fisting, begin by fantasizing about it when you masturbate. If you feel nervous or afraid, learn as much as you can about the new activity. Read about it, or watch an educational adult film—resources and recommendations can be found in Chapter 13 , “Resources.” On your own time, explore an angle that arouses your curiosity (awhole hand would be hot) —or that makes you hesitant (doesn’t it hurt?) .
    A Tool for Women: Your Vibrator
    Women who routinely use vibrators for masturbation take their trusty pal along on their fantasy explorations, but women who have never tried a vibe might also want to give it a whirl. Vibrators—or massagers—are excellent tools for exploring your arousal. Many women, even those who have had difficulty reaching orgasm, find that