The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women Read Online Free PDF

Health ; Cathy Winks and Anne Semans, The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 1997); Roselyn Payne Epps and Susan Cobb Stewart, eds., The American Medical Women’s Association Guide to Sexuality (New York: Dell Books, 1996); James H. Grendell, M.D., Kenneth R. McQuaid, M.D., and Scott L. Friedman, M.D., eds., Current Diagnosis and Treatment in Gastroenterology (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1996); and San Francisco sex educator Robert Morgan, personal conversations.
    2 These exercises are recommended in Anal Pleasure and Health, by Jack Morin, and The Complete Guide to Safer Sex from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, edited by Ted McIlvenna (Fort Lee, NJ: Barricade Books, 1992).
    3 Morin, Anal Pleasure, 59.
    4 Beverly Whipple, John D. Perry, and Alice Khan Ladas, The G Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality (New York: Owl Books, 2005).
     
    QUOTES AND SIDEBARS
    Toni Bentley, The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir (New York: ReganBooks, 2004), 87.
    Bert Herrman, Trust: The Hand Book (A Guide to the Sensual and Spiritual Art of Handballing) (San Francisco: Alamo Square Press, 1991), 45.

CHAPTER 3
    Beyond Our Bodies: Emotional and Psychological Aspects of Anal Eroticism
    Our emotional, psychological, and spiritual well-being play a major role in our erotic lives, and our experiences of anal sexuality are no exception. Anal play can be exceptionally psychologically-charged for some of us because of our own emotional issues or negative ideas associated with the ass. Listen to your heart, trust your instincts, and, above all, communicate with your partner.

Desire
    There really is no faking it in anal sex. Your body, mind, and psyche all must be in agreement that you want to have anal sex. Don’t have anal sex because you think it’s what your partner wants. Or because your partner is pressuring you to do it. Or because you’re afraid that you won’t be a desirable lover if you don’t do it. Take responsibility for your erotic likes and dislikes—figure out what they are and then communicate them to your partner. If you aren’t wholeheartedly gung ho about getting your ass fucked or you’re harboring some unresolved issues, those emotional and
psychological feelings will absolutely have an impact on your physical experience. Desire is a key ingredient to hot, satisfying anal sex, and if it’s missing, you can experience tension, discomfort, and pain. If you try it and don’t like it, then that’s okay; anal sex just isn’t for you, and you should respect your own desires.
    The most important thing, the single most
important thing when you’re talking about
wanting to progress forward with any kind of
anal erotic play is desire. You must, must do
this because you want to do it… Of all the
parts of your body, nothing knows a liar like
your anus. So if your mind is saying “Yes!
Yes!” and your heart is saying “No! No!”
your anus will always listen to your heart.
    —NINA HARTLEY—

Talking About It
    Communication is a key component before, during, and after anal sex. Communication about sex is specific to the individuals involved, so there’s no one rule that will work for everyone. No matter how you approach it, it’s a good idea to talk to your partner about this in a nonsexual setting, rather than right before you’re about to delve into anal erotic play. Depending on how your partner reacts, it could bring things to a screeching halt, which no one wants. You can go about it in a number of different ways, and how you do it should depend on your style and your partner’s comfort level. You may want to test the waters in a playful, indirect way. Try a statement that will let you see what your partner thinks about the subject in general, like, “I saw something in this magazine about anal sex, what do you think about it?” This is a safe way to approach it if you’re not sure how your partner may react. Saying, “I want to do this to you . Now ,” can put