The Truth About Us Read Online Free PDF Page B

despite the lingering fear of my nightmare. A nightmare I’ve had so many times, it’s commonplace to wake up in a pool of sweat with a throat as raw as sandpaper. I press my hands to my throbbing temples as my dream fades, and the previous night takes over. A soft groan forms in my throat as I remember what happened. I feel my cheeks burn right down to my toes, both pride and regret slam into each other inside me, and I’m not sure how to feel. All I know is that it’s going to be holy awkward the next time I have to see Garett.
    I reach out to my night stand and slide open my phone. Four missed calls, two voicemail, and half a dozen text messages. Goddammit, Mom. Frustrated, I listen to the stern voice of my mother busily chastising me through the earpiece until she finally does it. She finally says the thing I’ve been waiting for her to say for years.
    Given everything that’s happened in our family, I feel like it’s the least you can do. Don’t make us go through this again, Sophia. Her voice softens when she says it, but I let out a loud curse and throw the phone across the room. Immediately, I regret it as it slams against the wall and shatters. 
    I lean my head back against the pillow and try to calm my breathing, my aching chest, my stinging eyes. I furiously wipe at a stray tear, just as there’s a soft knock at the door.
    “Yeah?” I call and Tobie pushes the door open. Her dreadlocks are piled up on her head and sticking out every which way, and she’s wearing these square glasses that make her eyes look enormous.
    “Can I come in?” she asks but doesn’t wait for me to answer before she’s almost to my bed. I sniff and try to mask it by yawning. “You okay?”
    “Fine.” I let my hair fall in my face and pull my knees to my chest.
    She sits on my bed and puts her hand on her little belly. Her head goes from me to the pile of plastic on the floor that used to be my phone. “I’m supposed to be the crazy hormonal one around here.”
    The tension in my chest lifts a little as I laugh. “Sorry if I woke you.”
    This time she laughs. “Soph, it’s two in the afternoon. I’ve lived a whole day already.”
    “Oh,” I say and then we just sit here. She plays with a loose thread on my comforter, and I watch her.
    “Care to talk about it?” She has that same genuine concern in her voice that Garett did last night. It makes me want to spill all my screwed up feelings onto the bed and ask her to sort through them with me. But instead I shake my head.
    “Okay,” she says and stands. “But I heard you screaming in your sleep. Tosh wouldn’t let me come check on you. He said that you’d come to me if you needed to talk, but I just want to know that you’re okay. I know you’ve only been here a week, but I’m a worrier. It doesn’t take me long to get attached to people.”
    I smile at her, strangely comforted by her words. She’s going to be a great mom. “I’m fine, Tobie. Thanks.”
    Just as she’s going to leave she slaps the doorframe and looks over her shoulder. She’s arguing with herself as to whether she wants to speak. Her curiosity wins out.
    “Who’s Lance? If you don’t mind me asking?”
    It happens fast. Like taking a running jump into a pool of ice water and it slams through me with just as much force. Engulfing me in panic. Hearing the name brings the dream back to the forefront of my mind. Shouting the word. My heart seizes, and I feel water fill my lungs again. I’m sucked through a vortex of emotions that make me want to scream. The taste of dirt on my tongue makes me cough, and Tobie’s eyes get wide.
    “Nevermind. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked."
    As soon as she leaves, I fling myself across the bed and shove my hand in my purse, struggling to breath. Shoving everything around, my fingers grasp the tiny pill bottle. My lungs are filling, fuller, I'm sinking in my own panic, and I can barely get the cap off before I choke.
    I pop a tiny pill under my