The Sitter Read Online Free PDF Page A

guys we’re going to meet this summer.”
    She crossed her fingers. “I just know this is the summer I meet a really great guy. Someone I can really care about.” She sighed. “I’m going to be twenty-six, Ellie. I’m really ready. Ready to meet the right guy. Maybe even settle down.”
    “Well, good luck,” I said. “Maybe—”
    “Maybe you’ll meet someone, too. Then you really can forget about Clay.”
    “I wish. But how can I forget about him?” I asked, my throat tightening. I felt myself getting angry. “What makes you think he’ll stay away? What makes you think he’ll ever give up? I’m sick of him. Sick of all his bullshit and self-pity. He’s out of control. He—”
    “Ellie, please. We can deal with this.”
    “I feel like he’s a hunter,” I said. “He’s a hunter and I’m the deer he’s stalking. I feel like—”
    The bus jolted hard.
    Startled shouts all around. The squeal of tires.
    Teresa and I flew hard into the seat in front of us. My shoulder hit, and pain shot up my arm. Across the aisle, I saw the man’s laptop go sailing to the floor.
    The bus windshield went dark. A heavy blackness, as if night had fallen.
    A hard thud, and the bus bounced again.
    “We hit someone!” a man shrieked.
    And then I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t stop it. I opened my mouth and let out a shrill scream of horror.
    A scream from deep inside me. Not from today. A scream from years ago . . . A scream I’d been holding in for seven years.

5
    I realized Teresa had hold of my shoulders. She tried to shake me. “Ellie, please. Stop! Stop screaming! Please stop. Ellie—!”
    “It’s only a deer!” I heard someone shout.
    “Only a deer,” Teresa repeated, holding on to me, her face close to mine, her green eyes wide with surprise, with confusion. “Only a deer. Please stop!”
    Am I still screaming?
    “Ellie, stop! Stop! It was only a deer.”
    The scream faded in my mouth. My throat ached. Something much deeper inside throbbed and hurt. Yes, the pain was still there.
    I knew people were looking at me. I pretended I didn’t see them. I turned back to Teresa. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
    Teresa loosened her hold on my shoulders.
    “I’m the frightened deer,” I whispered, my throat raw and dry. “I was just saying it . . . how I’m like a deer. And now the deer is dead. Dead in the road. Oh, Teresa, this is such bad luck. Don’t you see? It’s really bad luck.”
    “Ellie, take a deep breath,” Teresa said. “It’s no such thing. The bus hit a deer, that’s all. It’s not like it’s some kind of omen. You don’t believe in that kind of stuff, do you?”
    I took a deep breath and held it. I heard police sirens outside the window. The driver had climbed out of the bus. Some people were hurrying out to look at the dead deer.
    I could see it. It had been thrown into tall grass beside the bus. It was just a fawn. It lay on its side. Its neck had snapped. White shoulder bones poked through the fur. The round black eyes were frozen wide in fright. And blood . . . I saw an ocean of blood.
    Teresa held on to my hand. “Why did you scream like that? Ellie, it’s like you were in a total panic. I couldn’t get you to stop.”
    “I’m sorry. . . .”
    How could I begin to describe it all? What should I tell her? Teresa was my friend, a good new friend. But how could I begin to tell her?
    “I’m sorry,” I repeated. “I was in a horrible crash. In high school. Ever since then, I—well . . . It was just so awful.”
    She let go of my hand. “Oh, my God. A car crash? How bad? What happened?”
    “Yes, bad,” I whispered, staring down at the floor. “It was a really bad crash. We went over an embankment. I—I was killed.”
    A long silence. Teresa stared hard at me, her face twisted with confusion. The bus had emptied. We were the only ones still in our seats.
    “Killed?” Teresa finally choked out. “You?”
    I swallowed. “Huh? Me? No. Oh . . . wow. Did I say