The Search for Ball Zero Read Online Free PDF Page A

television
commercial. Commercials fell by the wayside as it was far easier to
simply hire waves of lazy cretins to display themselves to equally
lazy cretins.
    An Ad is easy to spot.
 They usually do a zombie-like shamble instead of walking.
  Their vision is usually obstructed a little bit,
sometimes it’s mostly obstructed so they have a glassed over look
in their eyes, again very much like a zombie. Sometimes their
vision is obstructed by tons of porn, a condition called Porn
Blindness. An Ad walking down the street might run into you.
 If they aren’t Porn Blind, they might also shamble in front
of you, and do a full twirl to display as many of their
advertisements as possible.  They might even look somewhat
normal, and then in a split second have holographic advertisements
explode out from them in every direction. A “Sneak Ad-tack.”
    One time an Ad stopped in front
of Tony, his clothes covered in ads for fast food and drinks.
 He dropped his pants, and yes, his body was also covered in
ad tattoos.  Then he turned around, and yes, his butt was
covered in ads for porn.  Then he spread his butt cheeks, and
yes the inside of his butt cheeks were covered in ads for Super
Crack, the new legal drug of choice.  (Get it?  His butt
crack had ads for Super Crack...) And then out of his butt hole
came a holographic projection of a Miley Cyrus clone, with their
trademark tongue sticking out, animated and licking his butt.
 The new Miley Clones “My Pussy Your Face” Tour is coming
soon, the holograph announced with a mouth full of ass.
    Before the change, Tony always
thought it was weird that people would buy and wear clothes with a
company name and logo on it.  “Nike” do you really like that
company so much to project their name in the face of anyone you
meet?  That is a crazy thought.  Sure he would wear logos
sometimes, especially for video games or bands he really liked.
 But he had to really like something before plastering himself
with a giant logo.
    Normally companies pay money
for their advertisement to be shown.  Commercials, pop-ups,
billboards, placement in movies, etc.  Coke pays a lot of
money so that Katniss drinks Coke in Hunger Games 69.  But for
some when it comes to clothes, most people would pay the company in
order to wear their ads.  Strange.  Maybe it is some way
of showing that they can afford this logo.  But it seemed
backwards.
    Once ICs connected the
instantly fast Earth internet with equally fast human brains,
people replaced all advertising media.  And once companies
started paying people to wear their ads, they discovered you could
track how many “hits” people were getting with the logos they wore.
 With ICs, you could track each individual advertisement on
any person.  Companies could tell if Mr Jackass wore a shirt
with their logo on it 7 days in a row, and that 100 people saw that
shirt and exactly how many became paying customers.  Now
wearing that “Nike” shirt could pay off instead of costing
more.
    And then there were ads in
dreams.
    “ I can get paid to dream?  FUCK
YEA!!  I DO THAT ANYWAYS!” says Mr. Jackass.
    When approached by a
corporation willing to ‘sponsor’ Mr. Jackass’ dreams, he replies,
“Wait, you’ll give me a dollar a day, and the only consequence is
that any dream I ever have about drinking, it will be a Red Bull or
Red Bull related product?”
    “ Yep.”  Nods the
corporation.
    “ FUCK YEA!!  I DON’T GIVE A
FUCK, I’LL DRINK RED BULL IN MY FUCKIN DREAMS WHILE I’M SCREWIN
YOUR MOM’S BUTT WITH YOUR MONEY YOU ASSHOLE!  YEEEEHAW, SIGN
ME UP!!”
    So, then thinking he’s smart,
Mr. Jackass goes to the next company in his IC and signs up at
Cheetos.
    “ Wait, you’re telling me you’ll give
me .50 cents a day if anytime I dream about chips, you
motherfuckers and your supercomputers will turn those chips into
Cheetos?”
    “ Yes sir.”
    Mr. Jackass signs on the dotted
line with a look in his eyes like he’s the