The Scarlet Derby and Midnight Jay - Volume 1: Gallery of Rogues Read Online Free PDF Page A

free, and the two slid down the vine until they once again stood at street level.
    The Derby cleared his throat. “So, if you were meditating, I suppose you weren’t listening to what I was saying at all.”
    The Jay picked up The Derby’s hat and ran her fingers along his dark red hair. “On the contrary: I heard every single word, and it was all very sweet.”
    “Ah, well then-”
    “But we don’t have time for that. We need to catch up to those bourgeois burglars…”
    O O O
    The Three-Headed Mob found themselves before the last-standing tea house in all of London: the Lancashire-style tea house of North Argyle Street. In proper villainess fashion, Steletta cackled amidst the ranting of “Just as soon as we knock over this last tea house, we’ll be the most respected and profitable mob in all of London.”
    “That is certainly true,” Bootsy said from the sidelines “But I’m afraid we have another problem: we’re down to our very last coffee bean, and since I threw the last of my formula on The Scarlet Derby and Midnight Jay, I’m afraid I only have enough to create just one more vine.”
    “I don’t see how that dampens things at all,” Steletta scoffed, “we may only have one bean, but we only have one remaining tea house to destroy, and once that bean gets planted, we shall rule!”
    “Duhhh, yeah…We’ve got one bean to rule ‘em all!” Healy declared from the sidelines. A moment of silence fell between the three gangsters.
    “You ever figure out what his malfunction is?” Steletta asked Bootsy in a whisper.
    “I’ve ruled out trauma. I think it’s very likely it might be chromosomal.” Bootsy replied.
    “You don’t suspect the possibility of it being his sloping frontal brow?” Steletta blinked.
    “I’m afraid so, most intellectuals have pretty much discounted the practice of phrenology. My latest glance at a medical textbook had informed me-”
    “Not so fast you malodorous maladroits!” The Derby declared.
    Steletta gave a gasp and spun around, “Oh no, not you two again! How long have you been standing there?”
    “We’ve been here about as long as your intelligent henchman’s insidious over-explanation.” The Derby declared “Also, we happened to hear you mention that the bean you hold is the absolute last of its kind.”
    Steletta sneered. “Curses, if they catch us, they’ll ruin everything. Heely! You take care of the two of them!”
    “Deuh, what do you want me to do!?” Heely asked, baffled as usual.
    “Oh, I don’t know…You’re supposed to be the muscle. Why not muscle them?”
    “Oh yeah, thanks, Steletta, uh, your evil whims shall be committed on this day…” And with that the Three-Headed Mob’s dumbest member engaged the two heroes, slowly approaching them while taking into his hand the cricket bat he had tied across his back.
    “Oh how droll,” The Jay scoffed. “The mighty Steletta hopes to overpower us with the use of strength combined with idiocy.”
    “Do you think that we’re ill prepared to handle a mere thug like this?” The Derby scoffed “I bet all we have to do is tell him to look over at the six-eyed raven over there-”
    “Where Bootsy an’ Steletta are standing?” Heely replied, pointing over his shoulder with the cricket bat.
    “Or tell him that his shoe is untied,” The Jay added.
    Heely shook his head. “Nah, I’m actually wearing loafers.”
    “Uhhhh, or we could tell him that we’re actually the police!” The Derby stammered, running out of ideas.
    “You’re not deh police, you’re a pair of justice-loving do-gooders like Bootsy said.” Heely replied indignantly.
    “Egad,” the Derby gasped. “This buffoon is mysteriously baffle-proof!”
    “Looks like the heroes are beginning to realize the awful truth.” Steletta said distantly with another chortle in her voice.
    “And what’s that?” The Derby asked pointedly at the mob’s leader.
    Steletta gave a wicked smirk “That of all the despicable trios