job to worry about you. I don’t like the idea of you getting so upset while you are sleeping,” she glared at me. “And even though you try to cover it, I know that it’s following you throughout your day. You’re just getting over your dad; I hate to see you upset all over again.”
“Mom, trust me, I’m fine. Come on, we need to get a move on or I’m going to be late for the first day of school.”
By the look on her face, I knew the subject wasn’t closed. Next time, I would have to do a better job at covering up the signs of my dreams.
We arrived at my new school with ten minutes to spare. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go in with you?”
“No, I’ll be fine. I have my schedule, and I’ve studied the school map enough that I shouldn’t get lost.” At least that’s what I was hoping anyway.
“Try to make friends honey, okay?”
“Mom, you know I’m not good at that. People just don’t like me.”
“That’s not true. People are just put off by the way you study them. Sometimes you look like your searching for something in them.”
She was right of course; I was always sizing everyone up, searching for the same kind of connection with others that I shared with the unknown boy in my dreams.
“Look mom, I’ll try, okay? It’s just hard for me to meet new people.”
“I know honey. I just want you to be happy.”
“I’ll try,” I said again, getting out of the car.
I closed the car door behind me and looked at my new school. I couldn’t help feeling a little awed at the beauty of the campus. The brochures didn’t lie, it was a beautiful school. The building itself was two sprawling stories that was as big as the mall back home. The most appealing feature of the building was the wide staircase leading up to the large imposing front doors that were made from honey colored oak. Windows that sparkled in the bright sunlight lined the exterior of the building and were placed every six feet or so. Each window was adorned with a different brick inlay pattern over it. Ivy ran up the sides of the structure in abundance and made the school look more like an Ivy League college than a private high school.
It was definitely more prestigious looking than my previous high school. I couldn’t help feeling intimidated just looking at it; I now knew why the tuition was so high. The grounds themselves probably cost more to maintain than my old school spent for all their teachers salaries put together. I had once gone golfing with my dad and even that grass couldn’t compare to what surrounded this school. The grass was plentiful and was only broken up by the big oak trees that provided shade over the many picnic tables that littered the grounds. Beautiful flowers flanked the sidewalk leading up to the building, and ran along the border of the building. The overall affect was quite pretty, and I couldn’t help being impressed.
Glancing at my wrist watch, I saw that I still had eight minutes until the bell rang. I looked around for a place to sit while I waited. All the picnic tables were occupied by students catching up on what they had done during spring break. By the sounds of it, most had enjoyed a killer party at some guy’s house. Others had obviously spent their time partying at the beach during spring break, since many of the girls were showing off their new tan lines.
I mentally shook my head as I settled under one of the big oak trees. It didn’t matter if they were smarter, teenagers are the same everywhere. I didn’t know why I felt so out of touch with other kids my age. Maybe my mom was right, maybe I should try to make more of an effort to get to know people better. Maybe the connection I had been searching for all these years just didn’t exist.
I studied a group of guys messing around with a Frisbee. They all looked so carefree and happy. Had I ever been that carefree? I couldn’t remember a time when I wasn’t thinking about him with some part of my brain. Could