wonât go to bed,
anâ will not take a bath,
anâ talks back to his elders,
Oh, that fills me with wrath.
Come right along with me, I say,
donât try to run or fly,
donât pull or tug, youâll soon be snug,
inside a Dibbun Pie!
Dibbun Pie, my oh my,
I wonât tell you a lie.
If you ainât good, you surely should
end up as Dibbun Pie!
I covers him with honey âcos
some Dibbuns do taste sour,
I stuffs a chestnut in his mouth,
then rolls him round in flour,
I shoves him in the oven,
anâ sez yore time is nigh,
for with a piecrust oâer yore head,
youâll soon be Dibbun Pie!
Dibbun Pie, my oh my,
no use to weep or cry.
If you ainât good, you surely should
end up as Dibbun Pie!â
The Dibbuns sang the chorus lustily and cheered the Friar loudly, giggling and chortling at the idea of a Dibbun Pie.
Foremole Roogo shook his head with mock severity. âBurr, youâm likkle villyuns, Oi wuddent larf so loud ifân Oi wurr ee, or Froir Woppleâll make ee into pies!â
Brinky the vole Dibbun scoffed at the idea. âHah! No likkle Dibbuns never got maked into pie!â
Old Fottlink, the ancient mouse who was Recorder to Redwall, interrupted. âThatâs all you know, young Brinky. I knew a very cheeky Dibbun who was once baked into a Dibbun Pie, so there!â
The little volemaid stared wide-eyed at Fottlink. âWho was it? Was âe very naughty?â
The Recorder nodded. âVery, very naughtyâit was me!â
Brinky mulled over this revelation for a moment, then said, âBut if you got eated for beinâ naughty, why are you still âere?â
Fottlink whispered knowingly, âBecause I was very young.â
Brinky went into some more deep thought before speaking. âVery, very young anâ only a tiny likkle beast?â
The Recorder nodded solemnly. âThatâs right!â
Murty the molebabe enquired hopefully, âBut youâm wasnât naughty again, was youâm, zurr?â
Jum Gurdy chuckled. âOh, no. Ole Fottlink was a goodbeast from that day on. I know, âcos âtis true!â
The two Dibbuns stared open-mouthed at the big otter. If Jum said it was true, then it had to be so.
Dorka Gurdy, Jumâs sister, entered the cellars. She looked cold and distracted.
âJum, Iâve got to talk with ye!â
Jum rose, waving his sister, whom he was tremendously fond of, over to the forge fire. âDorka, me ole tatercake, come anâ sit âere. Ding, fetch âer some âot chestnuts anâ a drink oâ Baggaloob.â Taking off his sisterâs wet cloak, Jum placed a warm blanket around her shoulders. âNow, wot is it, me ole heart, is ought troublinâ ye?â
Dorka leaned close, dropping her voice. âI donât wants tâsay it aloud. âTwould upset these good creatures. Could I speak with ye in private, Jum?â
The big otter gestured to a stack of empty barrels. âRight ye are, sister dear. Come over âere.â
Once seated behind the barrels, Dorka clasped her brotherâs huge paw. âDâye recall young Uggo Wiltud? Stole a hefty fruitcake anâ ate the whole thing by hisself?â
Jum managed to hide a smile. âAye, I think that ole cake mustâve been nearly as big as liddle Uggo. I know heâs a scamp, but I canât âelp likinâ âis boldness.â
Dorka shook her head. âWell, heâs sufferinâ for it now, but thatâs not wot I wanted tâtalk to ye about. It was Uggoâs dream. He told Abbot Thibb that he saw a ship cominâ to attack Redwall, a big green craft. Later I âeard âim say somethinâ about a design on the shipâs sail.â
Jum chuckled. âA ship attackinâ our Abbey? I think it was really a big cake attackinâ Uggo. But why all the fuss, me ole darlinâ? âTwas only a greedy liddle