The Princess of Egypt Must Die Read Online Free PDF Page A

was nothing fatal.
    "If the king knew, he would kill us both!" I cry.
    This time, Cassander's gaze is steady. "We all must die someday."
     
    It's a torment, but I must stay away. Every moment of every day, I think of Cassander. From the time I wake up until the time I go to sleep, he haunts my every thought. But I won't go to him, even though being without him makes me miserable. All I wish to do is sleep, because I see Cassander in my dreams. It is only when I awaken that I remember, with a horrified start, that it would be better for us both if I never saw him again.
    I repeat the facts to myself, over and over, as if it will help me to accept them. I'm the Queen of Thrace. I'm married. Cassander is my stepson. Even if he weren't, he is a bastard. He is a stable boy. To love him is to bring dishonor upon the house of Lysimachus, and to shame my father and Egypt besides.
    One evening, Bunny climbs into bed next to me, whispering, "I've a note from Cassander."
    "How puzzling," I say, desperate to disguise my aching heart. "Why should a stable boy send a note to the queen?"
    It's no good. I can't fool her. Bunny sees through me. She must sense the way I go hot all over. Then cold. Then hot again. "I'm your sister here in Thrace. I'll keep your secrets."
    All my life I have longed for a sister. Lysandra and I never found a way to go back to the way it was between us when we were little, but Bunny is different. She has never been cruel to me. She tells me stories and teaches me dances and makes me laugh. My heart fills as I look into Bunny's big eyes and when she clasps my hand warmly in hers, I nod in surrender.
    "Take the note, and I'll tell no one," Bunny says.
    So I do.
    Unfolding the little piece of papyrus, I see the words etched in a spidery lettering.
     
    Why won't you see me? I've been thinking of Plato. I care nothing for reason. I care nothing for lofty honor. My soul is made up of appetite and if I do not feed it, I'll die. I love you. Meet me somewhere. Anywhere. — C
     
    This note is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever written to me.
    It's also treason.
    I want to press this paper to my lips. I want to sniff it and catch the scent of him. Instead, I throw it on the fire. Bunny gasps, trying to catch it before it lands in the flames. But she's too slow and we both watch it burn.
    "Will you meet him?" she finally asks.
    "No." But I can't leave him with silence. I call for a pot of ink and a sheet of papyrus to write upon. Bunny swears she'll deliver my message as soon as it's written and I know she will keep her word, but I take my time, laboring over each word.
     
    I am the Queen of Thrace. I am married. You are my stepson. Even if you weren't, you are a bastard. You are a stable hand. To love you would be to bring dishonor upon the house of Lysimachus and to shame my father besides. I will not do it. I will not meet you. The only favor I can bestow upon you is my silence. For your own sake, I implore you to burn this letter and never write to me again. — Queen Arsinoë
     
    Writing those words, those horrible words, opens a gaping wound in me. It hurts. It pounds behind my eyes, giving me headaches that keep me in bed for days. It churns in my stomach so that I eat very little, and what I do eat, I can't keep down.
     
    Cassander sends another note. Then another. I burn them all.
    I'm so sick, so often, that the king believes I'm with child. In a fit of exuberance, he sends midwives to prod at my belly. They swear that I have good hips for birthing and that I'll one day have sons who will be kings. Like my mother, they think this is the greatest protection a woman can have.
    Even Prince Agathocles brings me a congratulatory basket of pomegranates. "In case I'm not here to give you a gift when you
are
with child..."
    "Why wouldn't you be?" I ask. "Where are you going?"
    "To war," Prince Agathocles says stoutly. "I'm going to lead the cavalry into the mountains against the tribesmen."
    "May you win a