The Night We Said Yes Read Online Free PDF Page A

drifting in my mind, the melancholy ebbs, sliding away like a current. It’s still there, mucking around and ready to be called back, but the waves are calm, and I want answers. So I dare myself to return to him.
    “Fine,” I sigh. She grabs me in a hug. “But first I need some air,” I say to her, feeling claustrophobic. I give her a look and walk toward the front of the house. The party is still going on, oblivious to the reunion that just happened.Oblivious to the fact that my world is completely changing, all due to a single “Hey.”
    I walk outside to the front yard, past people talking and making out, and breathe in and out until my eyes don’t feel watery and my mind feels light. The air feels good, soft against my skin, and I find solace in the mere action of walking away. In the grass is a crumpled-up piece of sheet music that I pick up instinctively, and curse myself for doing it. Matt might have left, but our game of collecting found objects, much to my dismay, stayed. Some habits are hard to break. I smooth the paper out to reveal the lyrics.
    Deep in December, our hearts should remember
    Well, that’s annoyingly appropriate. The line seems to cut off abruptly and though I haven’t heard the song before, I know there has to be more. I turn the sheet over, but there’s nothing.
    “What’d you find?”
    I spin around at the voice and it’s him, of course, standing behind me. My heart leaps again, but this time I’m ready for him. I’ve had my pep talk, and I no longer have a force field around me, stopping him from getting too close. It’s just me. So I hand him the paper and he gets a pained look on his face, like he’s almost sad he’s passed this habit on to me.
    “It’s The Fantasticks .”
    “Huh?” I ask, walking next to him so I can look at it, too.
    “The musical. My mom loves it—she plays the soundtrack a lot.”
    “How does it end?” I ask, needing to know.
    “The musical?”
    “No, the song.”
    He looks over at me, finally meeting my eyes, and I suppress the urge to sigh, because that can’t be me. I can be strong. I can do this. I need to know.
    “Can we go somewhere and talk?” he answers instead.
    “What?”
    “It’s been a while and . . .” He lowers the paper to his side. “. . . I don’t know. I’d just like to talk.”
    “I don’t know,” I answer, because talking is one thing, but going somewhere to do it is another.
    “Come on. The party is loud and I’d like to, you know, see how you’re doing.”
    I raise an eyebrow in response. He should know. He should really know.
    “Scratch that last part,” he says, looking down as a flush comes to his face. “I have the song in my car. I can play it for you.”
    “Are you trying to kidnap me?” I ask dryly.
    “Only a little.” He grins shyly and I can’t help but wonder, Was he just flirting? “I’m parked over there.” He points, and the sight of his car makes me pause. It’s exactly as I remember it, parked along the side of the road as if it has been waiting for me this entire year. The right side is stillscratched from when the band tried to stuff Barker’s drum set in the backseat. Of course it didn’t work, but they weren’t ones to turn down a challenge.
    “I don’t know,” I say again, weighing the options in my mind. Go with him and get answers. Stay here and avoid everything. I’ve done a really good job at avoiding lately. Is it even worth it?
    He turns around and starts walking backward to his car, still facing me, and in his own way challenging me. The light from the lamppost reflects off his glasses, making his eyes almost look illuminated. He keeps walking until his shoe hits a rock and he stumbles.
    “Whoops,” he says nervously, and stops walking. He straightens out and runs his fingers through his hair again. With that small imperfection I realize for the first time that he’s uncomfortable too. He’s just as nervous and unsure as I am. The realization calms me; we’re