The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-Ups Read Online Free PDF Page A

thing that Coach said all the time resonated in a huge way, not just about football but about everything in life. “Practice doesn’t make perfect,” he told us. “ Perfect practice makes perfect.”
    If you keep practicing anything badly, especially sex, you’re not going to like it and neither will your partner. Sex will become a chore. I often hear women say, “I don’t want to have sex. I’m too tired.” That means they’re not having good sex. Because if your whole day is a miserable drudge, but you know you’re going to have good sex later, you look forward to it, regardless of how tired you are.
    Look at it this way: I play a lot of tennis. I practice and take lots of lessons. They’re important lessons; I’m thinking about every shot and I work to make each one the best possible. But the real reason to keep practicing is that once I’m in the game, I don’t want to be thinking too much or I’ll miss every ball. I have to relax, trust that I learned the lessons well, and hope that muscle memory will take over.
    It is the same with sex. You should “practice” and explore and try different things with your partner. But if you’re thinkingtoo much about the mechanics of what you’re doing during your actual lovemaking sessions, you’re not going to relax and enjoy what’s happening at that moment.
    This is why it’s so important to know your body, know your preferences, know your partner’s preferences, and most of all, to speak up about what feels good.
    If you have a hard time saying what you want, do a sex checklist. List what you want from your partner, such as “I want a massage,” “I want a dim room,” “Being on top is my favorite position,” or “This is my fantasy: (and spell it out).” Then ask him to do the same.
    I’ve found that women tend to want their partners to concentrate more on foreplay, while men often just want to get going. Have some fun figuring out how to make each other happy by practicing the items on your checklist. Alternate your wishes with his, and then go back to the beginning and repeat. After a while, you’ll both be getting exactly what you want. Then write out a new checklist!
Masturbation = Satisfaction Frustration
    Since I’ve just discussed humanism and caring and, yes, his erections, let’s move to a topic that’s all about his penis, his hands, and why he’s placing them on himself when he should be placing them on you. Namely, masturbation.
    Not so many eons ago, when humans were rutting in jungles and caves, their top priority wasn’t silk sheets or mood music or whether the door was locked to keep the kids out, but surviving through another threat-filled day. Sex had to be quick and productive because there wasn’t a lot of time to make love when youknew that a woolly mammoth or saber-toothed tiger might be stalking you any minute, ready to pounce.
    Nowadays, we don’t have to rush sex unless we deliberately sneak out for a quickie on our lunch hour. Instead, we can concentrate on pleasuring each other. But orgasms can be elusive for couples when ejaculation problems caused by masturbation ruin the mood.
    A predictable saga unfolded when a patient named Sam came to see me. He was forty-four, overweight, and wanted to feel better. He assumed that he had low testosterone levels, and he was right. But he thought that a prescription for testosterone would be an instant, automatic fountain of youth. I didn’t tell him right away that hormone therapy wouldn’t benefit him that much. After all, he was asking for help, and the first step was to get his male hormones stabilized. Once they were at normal levels, I could tell him about the satisfaction stuff.
    Once the blood work was back, we discussed Sam’s numbers and the improvements I’d seen. The testosterone had kicked in quickly, and he had more energy and more sex drive. Then I told him bluntly that both would be even better if he lost weight.
    “No bread, pizza, pasta, cookies, and