The Man Who Ivented Florida Read Online Free PDF Page A

effect on his prejudice; if anything, it was sharpened. As a boy, his hatred of aging had been seeded by his own grandfather, who took strange joy in stealing sips from Tucker's drinks, then washing back nasty specks of cracker or tobacco. It would have made most boys queasy, but not Tuck. It just pissed him off. And Tucker Gatrell was never the sort to forgive and forget.
    The lobby of Everglades Township Rest Home was empty when Tucker walked in—empty except for a woman in a nurse's uniform sitting in front of the television. Fat woman on a folding chair. Huge breasts and wide hips draped in surgical white, spreading over the seat like rising bread dough. Tucker stopped behind her and cleared his throat loudly. The nurse seemed not to notice. So he went to the desk and signed his name into the visitor's book, thinking that's what she was waiting for. But nope, she was still hypnotized by the television. On the screen were two actors in fancy clothes, their hair fluffed as if they'd stepped into a wind tunnel, then plunged their heads into hair spray. "Dear God," the woman actor was saying, "it's true—you are prejudiced! You beast!"
    Tucker cleared his throat again, and the nurse spoke for the first time, lifting her head briefly. "Stop making that noise—please."
    Tucker took his hat off, trying to appear sociable and respectable. "It's visiting hours, ma'am. Says so right there on the door. I got a person I need to visit."
    The nurse made no reply until a commercial came on. She looked up then, as irritable as if Tucker were a six-year-old asking for a glass of water. "What are you doing out of your room? And where did you get those awful clothes?"
    Tucker said, "Huh?"
    "And that bag—you better not be trying to sneak liquor in here!"
    Tuck was in a good mood, and he really was trying to be polite, but he wasn't made of stone. After all, these were his best clothes.
    "I ain't outta my room, 'cause I don't live here," he said with some heat. "And it's none of your goddamn business how I dress. Just tell me where my old partner Joe Egret is and I'll leave you be."
    The nurse leaned her face toward him. "That kind of garbage-mouth language won't be—hey, just who do you think you are?" She lifted her bulk out of the chair. "If you don't get back to your room right now, I'll call the orderlies!"
    Well, hell, enough was enough. . . .
    Tucker took two quick steps and kicked the television off its stand, really putting his leg into it. The television landed on the linoleum with a crack, and the screen went fuzzy, flickering and throbbing.
    Tucker grinned at the new expression on the nurse's face. He had her attention now, by God! He spoke before she could get a word out. "Now you listen here, missy, you tell me that room number—or my boot's bound for hemorrhoid highway. Com-prendo? As in your backside."
    The nurse's face had paled. "My God—you're terrible."
    Tucker still had his smile. "Yes ma'am. I heard that before. Now where's my partner?"
    "Our television set!"
    "That's right."
    "You . . . bastard!"
    "You kiss your mama with that mouth?"
    "Get out of here right now!"
    Tucker took a step toward the woman. "I ain't gonna say it again."
    The nurse took a quick step back. "The Indian? Egret, you said?"
    "Yep, the Indian. A great big one." Tucker held his hand over his head. "About so high."
    The woman's legs appeared wobbly. "I was watching my favorite show!"
    "Just tell me where the old fool is, you can keep on watching."
    "What I'm going to do is call the ..." Then she paused, looking at the television. "Hey," she said, "it's working again."
    "Not for long if you don't—"
    "Oh, for God's sake! He's up the stairs.. One of the rooms toward the end of the hall. Find it yourself."
    Tuck started to walk away but then stopped. "I know what's going on in that mind a yours, ma'am. You're thinkin' the moment I head up the stairs, you're gonna call the law. Or them whatever you call it—orderlies? But I'll tell you what: You