The Mad and the MacAbre Read Online Free PDF Page A

him as it nipped at
his feet. He braced himself against the wall and told the dog to
knock it off. It had a lot more energy now than when he'd first found it,
that was for sure.
    He reached the bottom without falling and
breaking his neck and then refilled the dog's food and water bowls.
By now it had lost its torso bandages completely, so he took a few
minutes to redress its wounds. The dog licked his hand, and he
wiped the slobber off on its fur. He didn't see the point in
explaining to the dog that it would be spending the entire day in
the basement while he went to work, so he simply went back upstairs
to shower and get dressed.
    * * *
    As Charlie drove to work, it occurred to him
that he should have taken the dog for a walk before he left. Oh
well. It was far from the first mess he'd have to clean up in that
basement.

- 4 -
    During his 10:45 AM break, Charlie called
his home voice mail to check if there were any messages. He had to
think for several moments to recall his password--he wasn't used to
having any reason to access his voice mail.
    Two messages. The first was
from an old-sounding man who described a white poodle. No need to
call him back. The second was a woman who didn't say what kind of
dog she was missing, just that she hoped he had her beloved
Rhinestone. Charlie didn't think the dog looked like a
Rhinestone--he didn't think any dog looked like a Rhinestone--and it didn't sound
like the kind of name a wealthy person would give a dog, but he
called the woman anyway.
    "I'm returning your call," he said, when the
woman answered with an annoying, sing-songy "Hello."
    "My call about...?"
    "The dog."
    "Oh, yes, of course. Rhiney came home this
morning. Sorry to waste your time!"
    "Okay." Charlie hung up.
    There were no messages at lunch or at his
3:15 break. Charlie was surprised. He would have expected more
people to lose dogs than that.
    There were no new messages waiting for him
when he got home. Charlie opened the door to the basement and the
dog rushed out. It stampeded over to the front door, whining and
twitching. Charlie realized that he didn't have a leash. He had
plenty of rope and other things that he could fashion into a leash
without too much effort, but the dog seemed to be in a state of
emergency and what was the worst thing that could happen? The dog
might run away. So what? Charlie wouldn't be any worse off.
    He opened the door and let the dog race
outside. It ran a few feet out onto his lawn and then immediately
squatted. Charlie watched it for a moment, then questioned why he
was watching this particular activity in progress and averted his
eyes. The dog finished and ran back inside the house. It was
definitely well trained.
    Charlie went down into the basement, and was
surprised and pleased to note that there weren't any messes to
clean up. The dog held out better than some of the humans he kept
down here.
    He filled its food and water bowls once
again, then walked upstairs. The dog was back on his couch.
    "Get down," he said.
    The dog rolled onto its side.
    "I'm not going to pet you," he told it. "Get
off my couch."
    The dog woofed at him--not quite a bark.
    Charlie sighed. "You can stay, but you'd
better not shed on it."
    Interesting. Now he was not only speaking to
the dog as if it could understand human speech, but he was acting
as if the dog could control its own shedding. Bring on the men in
white jackets.
    If nobody claimed the dog by the time he was
out of food (a couple of days, probably) he'd take it to the
pound.
    Charlie changed out of his work clothes into
jeans and a sweater, then microwaved a frozen pizza. He sat down
next to the dog and turned on the television.
    The dog licked its chops.
    "No," he said. "It's mine." He took a bite
of pizza and winced. Way too hot. He opened his mouth and fanned
his hand in front of his tongue.
    The dog inched closer to him.
    "Don't even think about it."
    The dog whimpered.
    "No. My pizza. You've got dog chow." Charlie
blew on the slice of