The Mad and the MacAbre Read Online Free PDF Page B

run somebody over with your
car."
    "Okay."
    "Looking for a new dog?" she asked, nodding
at his monitor. Charlie was in the middle of a Google search for
animal shelters in the area.
    Charlie shook his head. "Getting rid of
one."
    "Oh, no! What did it do?"
    "Nothing. I found it."
    "Well, make sure you take it to a 'no kill'
shelter."
    "They have those?"
    "Yeah, they'll keep it until they find it a
home. What kind of dog is it?"
    "Boston terrier."
    "Oh, I love those!" said Alicia. "They're so
cute! Did you name it?"
    Charlie shrugged. Why would he name a dog
that he was taking to the pound? And why wouldn't she leave him
alone? She knew he was on his lunch break--why couldn't she respect
that and let him enjoy it?
    "I guess if you named it, it might be hard
to let it go," Alicia admitted.
    "Yeah."
    "But it was nice of you to take in the dog
and give it a home for now. Where did you find it?"
    "In a park."
    "I can't believe the owner hasn't claimed it
yet."
    "Do you want it?" Charlie asked.
    "Can't. I've already got three cats. If I
didn't, I'd take it in a second. I think you should keep it,
though--a dog would be good for you."
    "Why?" Charlie was surprised to discover
that he actually cared about her answer to his question.
    "Unconditional love. A dog doesn't care if
you're in a bad mood or if you cheated on your taxes; they love you
no matter what."
    Charlie frowned. Was she accusing him of
cheating on his taxes?
    "I don't have time to take care of a dog,"
Charlie said, knowing that he had plenty of time, even if he kept
up his current schedule of television viewing.
    "That's fair," said Alicia. "I'm not trying
to get into your business. But promise me that you'll take it to a
'no kill' shelter, okay?"
    "Okay."
    "I'll even look one up for you and give you
the address. Then you can enjoy the rest of your lunch break."
    It took Charlie several seconds to figure
out how to respond to that. "Thanks."
    "No problem at all. I'm
happy to do it." She smiled. "Did you notice that it's not that painful to have a
friendly conversation with a co-worker?"
    Charlie didn't necessarily agree with Alicia
about the level of pain the conversation created, but he nodded and
forced himself to smile.
    * * *
    By the end of the day, still nobody had
called about the dog. Maybe his signs just weren't very good. He
supposed that if he asked Alicia, she'd help him make better
ones--he'd seen the sign she made for a bake sale last week that he
didn't participate in, and it was colorful and eye-catching. Of
course, making new signs would be a waste of time, since he'd be
taking the dog to the address of the animal shelter she'd given him
right before he left.
    Still, it would be a major disappointment if
he turned the dog over to the shelter and then the rich owner
claimed it that same day. Or even a few days later. The dog wasn't
exactly eating up a large percentage of his income; maybe Charlie
should hang on to it for a few more days, just in case. Also, he
didn't want to deal with the awkward phone conversation if the
elated owner called him to reclaim his or her pet, and Charlie had
to explain that he'd taken it to the pound, where it might have
been given to somebody else. At least he wouldn't have to tell the
owner that the dog had been gassed. He didn't like hearing people
cry outside of his basement.
    He decided to stop at the pet store on the
way home.
    * * *
    "Don't get used to this," said Charlie,
waving the red rubber squeak bone at the dog. "I'm not buying you a
toy every time I go out. This is all you get." He squeaked the bone
and the dog ran in a joyous little circle on the basement floor.
"If you lose it, it's not being replaced, so be careful."
    He tossed the bone to the dog. It caught it
in its mouth and then dropped onto its stomach, chewing vigorously
on the toy, which squeaked and squeaked and squeaked.
    Charlie leaned against his metal table and
watched the dog. It seemed to be having a lot of fun. Why? It was
just a rubber bone.