pick it up, carrying it into the bathroom with me. I plugged up the tub running the water and adjusting the temperature, so that it is just right. I started to feel dizzy again. That's been happening a lot lately. I should probably drink more water, amongst other things that I’m not doing to take care of myself. I look over to the bathroom mirror. I could see my baby fat peeking out from the bottom of my t-shirt. I guess I could stop calling it baby fat now, Thias is almost seven. I shouldn’t be using that as an excuse anymore. I sat down on the toilet, disgusted from looking at my midsection, waiting for the water to finish running. Thias runs in the bathroom completely naked.
"Mama! I got all of my battle gear!!!" he warns, as he tossed each toy in the tub.
"Oh yea? Well, what about your after battle gear?" I asked, looking for his night clothes.
"I forgot mama!" he replied laughing.
"Don't worry about it, I'll get them." I stood up to walk out the bathroom. "Hurry up Captain, you only got thirty minutes and I'm timing you!" He laughed and jumped in the tub splashing around. I walked into his room to search for some clean night clothes. I opened my hand to reach for the drawer, and the paper fell again. I almost forgot I had it. I sat at the edge of Thias’s bed and opened it. "Ace", it read, with a telephone number and a heart. I have had this number for almost a week! “Maybe I should call.” I thought. “What if he's busy and doesn't have time to talk? Even more important, what would I say? What if my situation is too much for him?” He might think I have too much baggage. Honestly, I really do. I'm just not prepared to give a man any time right now. I'm not where I want to be. I have nothing to offer. Maybe I shouldn’t call. I couldn’t bring anyone into my mess right now and expect them to actually want to stick around. I should wait. That's what I will do. I'll wait until I have my shit together and a little more stable. “Damnit Sage! There you go again! It's not like he's trying to marry you. Just talk, right? You can talk. No, I should wait. I should wait to call”.
"MAAAAA!!!!" The sound of Thias screaming shook me. I dropped the paper and ran down the hall to my bathroom.
"What is it baby? What's wrong?"
He looks at me with his round eyes and grins. "I captured all the bad guys’ mommy; I'm ready to get out."
I let out a big sigh with my hand over my chest. "Oh, well get out then silly! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" He jumps out the tub and I hand him the towel. I remembered that I never got his night clothes as I said, "Dry yourself off Pumpkin. I gotta run and get your clothes."
Pacing down the hallway I began to think, maybe I should call? Walking into his room I grabbed some PJs out the drawer, dropping the pants on the floor as I struggled to close the drawer. “Got it!” I said to myself, finally getting the drawer closed. Kneeling down I scooped up his pants, and there was the paper. I looked at it. Maybe I should. Kneeling down once more I grabbed the paper and headed back to my bathroom. Thias was standing there all wrapped up in the towel.
“I'm soooo tired."
Handing him his night clothes, I replied, "Well good! I don't have to fight with you to go to sleep then, right?"
"Not tonight, mama. Maybe tomorrow, but I'm tired tonight." I smiled, watching him throw on his PJs like he had somewhere important to be and was running late.
"Ok, come on let me tuck you in Captain!"
Reaching for his hand, I walked him down the hallway into his room. He jumps in bed and pulls the covers over himself. I sat down beside him kissing his forehead then both sides of his cheeks. "Goodnight, Pumpkin. Sweet dreams." He looked at me holding his arms out wanting a hug. I lean in and he wraps his arms around my neck.
"You are the best Mommy in the world. I love you." he whispers in my ear.
"Awwww, thank you baby. Goodnight, I love you." I got up, turned on his spider man night light, and