The Lonely Drop Read Online Free PDF Page A

sweaty, naked bodies rubbing together because it feels good. It feels good, and I’m not ashamed of enjoying it.”
    “I’m not trying to make you feel ashamed.” I frown into the phone. How did we go from him offering to fly down to keep me company for the holiday to this?
    “And I’m not trying to make you feel like a puritanical uptight asshole. No, wait, I am.”
    Ouch. An angry flush heats my face. “It’s working,” I admit.
    “Okay, so maybe we stop with the value judgments about each other’s sex lives?”
    “Okay.” I sigh. “I’m an asshole, I’m sorry.”
    “I’ll call you in January, when I get into town.”
    “Please do. Kevin, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
    “Forget it. Merry Christmas, Nick.”
    “Merry Christmas.”
    ****
    New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day 2013/2014
    He sends me a selfie and a text from Times Square.
    Playing tourist. Kinda fun. Happy New Year, Nick.
    The Drop is packed, so I barely have time to text, You too, before turning my phone off so it won’t distract me anymore.
    When I crawl into bed at three in the morning, I turn it on and find more texts.
    Kissing anyone special tonight?
    Nick?
    Me neither. Thinking about it though.
    I shake my head and send a text of my own.
    Drop was busy tonight. Only kiss I got was from Jenny.
    Late as it is, I don’t expect a text back, but it comes within minutes.
    You kissed a girl???
    I laugh.
    She kissed me.
    The phone rings.
    “Hey,” I try not to yawn as I answer, rolling onto my belly.
    “You just get home?”
    “Yeah. What are you doing up at three in the morning?”
    “Couldn’t sleep. Was waiting for a text.”
    My breath catches a little. So damned unfair of him to flirt with me like this. I don’t know how to respond.
    “Nick?” he prods.
    “Sorry, I’m exhausted. I have no witty rejoinders.”
    He chuckles. “Okay, I can take a hint. I was going to angle for some phone sex, but…”
    Oh good grief. “Are you kidding me?”
    He laughs outright. “Only a little. I’d totally sex you up over the phone. Do you have to be in love with someone to have phone sex with them? Because I’m okay with being taken advantage of.”
    “Well, I’m not.” It would be just as easy to love him now as it was ten years ago. I worry that I’m halfway there already. Just the thought of phone sex with him has me grinding my dick into the mattress.
    “No phone sex then.” His voice sounds sad. “That’s cool. It’s good to talk to you anyway.”
    “Yeah. I almost didn’t expect to talk to you again after Christmas. I’m sorry I was an asshole.”
    “Well, I happen to like assholes, so you’re forgiven.”
    It takes me a minute to put the pun together. I half-laugh, half-groan into the phone. “That is the worst joke ever.”
    “Hey Nick, what’s it like?”
    “What’s what like?”
    “Sex with someone you love. I mean, I’m assuming you aren’t still a virgin— oh, God, tell me you aren’t still a virgin.”
    The question takes me by surprise, but not for the reason I would have thought.
    “You’ve never been in love?”
    “Once. I was in love once.”
    Wow. I’d never realized it before, but jealousy hurts.
    “Well then you know.”
    “No, I never slept with him. It was an unrequited thing. Very angsty.”
    I try to imagine him pining away for this unknown someone who was stupid enough not to love him. I can’t— the whole situation seems absurd to me, so I answer his question instead. “I’m not a virgin. I loved the guys I’ve been with, but I don’t know that it was ever really in-love-kinda-love, now that I look back. I’ve had some relationships. It was… good. I loved connecting with someone emotionally and physically at the same time.”
    “Okay, so I’m trying to picture it… you’re a bottom, right?”
    I snort. “Um, sometimes. Sure, I like to bottom.”
    “Okay, I like this picture. Continue. What happened next?”
    I laugh out loud then. “Still angling for phone