The Last Place She'd Look Read Online Free PDF Page A

even be a grandmother. Will spent 32 years in a committed relationship, proof he knew how to do it. If I was really ready for a serious relationship, I'd focus on his years of service. Or would I?
    Because I live in the veneer-soaked La La Land that is Los Angeles, I'd never dated a man whose kids were old enough to give him grandchildren. I'd always dated chubby Peter Pans and man-children, seldom a man with children and never one who saved lives. Plus, I realized Will was around Paul McCartney's age, close to retirement, collecting Social Security, and ready for a chapter in life far from where I was. I felt like I was out with someone's granddad, an attractive man who, even though I liked his company, I couldn't become attracted to, nor cuddle up to or be skin-to-skin with. Would I have felt that way with the real Paul McCartney?
    I went home to rewrite my article, Sex with your Ex, 10 Reasons to Say No because my editor thought some of the true-life examples I'd collected from friends weren't believable enough. I needed to make up stuff to deliver and sell the piece. But since it was always difficult for me to rewrite, I began my work session the way I usually did, by focusing on everything else but writing. As soon as I got home, I watered the plants, did a load of laundry, paid some bills, fluffed and rearranged the pillows on the couch, and then called Julia.
    “'I'm doing my taxes?!'” I blurted the second she said hello. “It's July. Why didn't you say you were shopping for a Christmas tree?”
    “Well, how was coffee? If no one pushes you or hits you over the head, nothing happens,” Julia fired back.
    “He's okay.” I said with indifference.
    “He's handsome. Lots of charisma…like a maestro.”
    “Does he seem old to you?” I inquired.
    “He's got vitality…vigor…that's good.”
    “He's a doctor.”
    “I knew he had vigor…and he can prescribe Viagra.”
    “He said he wants to see me again. I'd be fine if he didn't call. I'm not interested."
    Julia said, “I think he holds great promise. I have a good feeling about this one.”
    “I know he seemed interested in me, but it felt creepy being touched by somebody older than Paul McCartney. I know you think he should be my 50th birthday gift to myself.”
    “Nothing's better than birthday sex!” she shot back.
    “I don't like to screw on the first date.”
    “Sometimes that's not the best approach…but I am your sluttiest friend. Another suggestion, sign up for Facebook ! That way everyone you've ever met in your entire life can find you, face you, and wish you a happy birthday.”
    “You mean that social website students and rock bands use?”
    “I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. I bet you have old beaus, admirers, and others from your past eager to reconnect with you.”
    “More like lurking in the shadows.”
    “Lighten up. Try Facebook . If nothing else, you'll get birthday greetings from all over the country. Try it. Check out my page, then make one for yourself. I guarantee surprises. Do it today!”
    I said goodbye to Julia just as another call was coming in — one of my other close friends, Lila.
    “How is the almost birthday girl?” Lila asked cheerfully.
    “I'm recuperating from last night's bad date, but somebody new picked me up at yoga today.”
    “In one door and out the other,” she said. “I hope your dance card is free beginning in the morning, on your special day. “
    “My birthday morning?”
    “Yes, doll, I want to kidnap you and show you a good time.”
    “Sounds great,” I said smiling.
    “I'll pick you up at 8:30. And bring a bathing suit.”
    “Would I really have a good time in a bathing suit? My thighs have been declared a national disaster.”
    “I'm older, with more cellulite. Trust me. Be ready….I'll call when I'm five minutes away.”
    I hung up with Lila, turned on my computer, and went to Facebook.com . I'd thought about doing this for a while, but what better time than now? I could use