The Intern Blues Read Online Free PDF Page A

didn’t get any sleep. Then I went out shopping.
    I was in the vegetable store and I had this really funny feeling, like I couldn’t think clearly for a minute. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong at first, but then I realized that I was shopping for myself. I started feeling really bad because I’d be the only person in the apartment eating this stuff. When I got back from the store, I called Karen right away. She was home already. I told her how much I missed her and how lonely I felt. She told me she felt the same way. We talked for a while and when we got off the phone, I felt real down, real down, and I didn’t know what to do. I just walked around the apartment, feeling very empty. I felt like I wanted to cry, so I sat down at my desk but the tears wouldn’t come. I had to talk to someone; the only person I knew was Ellen, so I called her and told her I’d like to come and talk for a while and she said sure. I went up to her apartment, she opened the door and asked what was wrong, and I told her I was feeling real low. We sat down on her couch and I started crying. I kind of fell onto her shoulder and cried for ten, fifteen minutes, really crying, soaking her blouse. She held me and I held on to her. I felt a lot better after that. We talked about getting together for dinner, and so I went back down to the store to get more food.
    That was amazing! That kind of thing, crying on a total stranger’s shoulder, is not something I’ve ever done before. I was feeling bad, really bad, and she was the only person I even knew here. All I can say is, I’m glad there are people like Ellen in this program.
    But all is not lost. When I went out for food the second time, I found a store that sold Häagen-Dazs ice cream! Häagen-Dazs in the Bronx! Amazing! [Häagen-Dazs ice cream has always been manufactured in the South Bronx.] There’s hope for this place after all!
    Work is good. I’ve finished my first week as an intern, and it’s shown me that I actually like being a doctor. I enjoy the people I’m working with, I like the kids . . . I’m rediscovering some of the things that made me go into pediatrics in the first place. This week, working in the ER [emergency room] and the clinics, I saw more kids than I had seen during the entire six-week rotation I spent in pediatrics in medical school. I love the kids, but I can see that the adolescents can drive you nuts!
    There are a lot of things I don’t understand about adolescents. Do you examine them with their parents in the room? Do you throw the parents out, and if so, when do you throw them out? And there are all these hidden agendas going on between the parents and the kids. The other day, I saw a fifteen-year-old girl with a vaginal discharge. Her mother insisted on staying in the room the whole time. I felt pretty uncomfortable asking the girl whether she was sexually active or not with her mother standing right there next to her, but the woman just wouldn’t leave. So I wound up doing a pelvic exam and getting all the cultures and stuff without even knowing what I was looking for. I guess when I get some of these issues sorted out, I’ll feel better about them, but as of now, give me those toddlers and little kids anytime!
    I’m starting to feel more confident and more willing and able to see patients without supervision. [In the beginning of the year, interns working in the emergency room are supposed to check with the attending on duty before discharging any patient.] It was so busy the other day, I didn’t have time to check everything out. We were about four hours backed up most of the time and I was just running from one thing to another without any time even to think, let alone consult an attending. Occasionally I asked for advice just to check myself, and the attending who was on call in the ER always agreed with what I wanted to do. That felt good; it was a real boost to my